tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80282975593174426182024-02-07T19:33:14.094-08:00randomorbid (contd.)Inspiration driven. Irregular. Unabashed. Opinionated. Original. Sarci. Cynically realistic. Jabbermouth. Listener. Keen observer & sometimes, just blah!the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-14477400377513130042014-10-06T11:40:00.001-07:002014-10-06T11:55:33.976-07:00"No, I will not adjust maadi" - An open letter to the Director of Karnataka State Road Transport Corporation (KSRTC)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Dear Sir.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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I write this letter to you as a loyal customer and passenger
as well as in the interest of the high standards of service that KSRTC is known
for. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Having lived in Bangalore for over 2 years now, KSRTC buses
have been a blessing for an avid traveller like myself to journey to different
parts of Karnataka, whether for work or leisure. As most others in Karnataka
would agree with me, your buses have always been ahead of private companies as
well as other state corporations in comfort, punctuality, hygiene, hospitality
and overall, value for money. I can safely say that I’ve never regretted
booking your buses as I was always assured of the aforementioned list of
quality services until…what happened on the bus journey from Sirsi to Bangalore
on the night of 4<sup>th</sup> October 2014. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Due to the unavailability of buses from Gokarna to
Bangalore, my friend and I caught a KSRTC Airavat bus (KA 01.F.8072) from Sirsi, scheduled to
start at 8.33 pm on the 4<sup>th</sup> of October 2014. We arrived from Gokarna
a little earlier before the time of departure and when we asked locals about
the said bus to Bangalore, we were informed that it would only arrive by 9.00
pm. Time soon passed and it was 8.33 pm but the bus bearing the KSRTC Airavat
sign was no where at sight. We decided to visit the restroom when we suddenly
got a call from the conductor asking us if we were catching the bus. We evaded
the visit to the restroom and rushed to catch the bus, nearing which we saw it
did not have Airavat written anywhere but just ‘Volvo’. The bus conductor and
driver yelled at us for making them wait for about 10 minutes, a mistake we
accepted even though we were a bit confused given the look of this bus was so
different from all the other Airavats we’ve travelled in before.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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One we stepped inside and took our seats, it didn’t take me
long to realize that I wasn’t feeling the usual chill that I normally do in AC
Volvo buses. I checked the AC vents and realized it was only blowing cool air
from it. Neither the windows of the bus were forming any mist (normally happens
in AC buses) nor was I getting enough air where I was seated. We tried to
adjust the air vents to maximize the blower but to no avail. Moreover, the air was
stale which was another indication of the fact that there was no circulation
happening i.e. the air conditioner was definitely not switched on. In no time,
we were in the middle of the Ghats and my friend (a Kannadiga who speaks the
language) managed to go upto the conductor and the driver to request him to
switch on the air conditioner. Each time that she went upto them to make this
request, they simply dismissed her off claiming that the air conditioner was on
and working. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Airavat logo but just Volvo written on the bus. Is this really an Airavat or an ancient version of the bus?</td></tr>
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In the meanwhile, I began feeling claustrophobic and
experiencing breathlessness due to the non-conditioned and stale air blowing
from the vents, as the bus zipped on the hairpin bends of the Western Ghats. I
have extensively travelled on hilly roads in the North East and the Himalayan
region in the North without experiencing any motion sickness so I certainly
knew that it wasn’t that. For disclaimer’s sake, I felt just fine in the local
bus that we had to take from Kumta to Sirsi to catch your bus and I certainly
didn’t consume anything that would get me breathless or dizzy before I got on
your bus. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Moving on, the conductor and driver continued to claim
nothing was wrong with the bus even as my friend reported to them that I was
experiencing breathlessness. I had to sit upright and keep my face close to the
vent, as it was the only source of oxygen, otherwise it felt like I was
breathing in the CO2 that I breathed out. We were considering getting off at
Shimoga to catch another bus (a real Airavat!) to Bangalore given the attitude
and reception from the driver and conductor. Thankfully, my friend had an anti
allergy pill on her which was the only saving grace for me on this journey. I
told her that if I felt better by the time we reached Shimoga, we’ll just pull
through on this bus but if I didn’t, we would have to change buses (if we even
managed to get one last moment!). <o:p></o:p></div>
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We then stopped at a place about an hour before Shimoga
where a lot of passengers alighted the bus. Suddenly, we found the temperature
going down and mist had formed on the windows. The air conditioning was finally
working or had been switched on; we weren’t sure which one it was. I told my
friend to ask the conductor (in Kannada) why he didn’t pay any heed to our
repeated requests before, knowing that we were suffocating for about an hour
(or more) before the stop. He just said that the AC automatically adjusts the
temperature and that it was on all the time. In a calm and straightforward
manner, we rebutted his claim to which he rudely dismissed us off by saying, go
ahead and complain. At that moment, I remarked that “Oh so it’s a Government
job so you’re not bothered, right?” Both of us were appalled at his cavalier
attitude and spoke to ourselves about how <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sarkari</i>
(Government) employees don’t realize there’s a thing called ‘social media’ now
and gone are the days when people’s voices remained unheard or the time when
people didn’t care/want to express themselves enough. <o:p></o:p></div>
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As if this attitude wasn’t enough, the driver suddenly
stopped in the middle of nowhere after taking off from the station. He then
came towards us and rudely asked my friend, what was our problem when everyone
else was sitting in the bus without any issues. We explained what happened
after we took off from Sirsi and how despite our repeated requests, the AC
wasn’t turned on. The bus driver starts yelling and scolding us for creating a
nuisance with the same lame explanation of the “automatic system of the AC
which increases and decreases the temperature”. Anyone who has been on a KSRTC
Airavat AC Volvo bus knows they have to wear something warm and cannot do
without the provided blankets during the full course of the journey. To make
matters worse, the conductor and another guy (not in uniform) joins him with a
very aggressive body language, almost threateningly telling us it wasn’t their
fault and that we need to adjust to this. My friend retorted, “We’re always
being asked to adjust in India but this situation was not about adjusting. My
friend couldn’t breathe because the AC wasn’t on and all she could breathe was
stale air. What if she had fainted, then I would have had to take her to a
hospital in Shimoga”. </div>
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My protests, of course, fell to deaf ears since they were
in English and in this moment at least, I didn’t feel apologetic about not speaking
Kannada. The driver and conductor said that if we had any problems, we should
complain about the bus but keep them out of it. Unsurprisingly, no one around
us so much as uttered a word or even tried to calm the situation down despite
the fact that 3 bus guys were yelling at two female passengers in the middle of
nowhere in a threatening body language. By now quite a scene was created and
the driver went back to his seat saying that he would stop at the nearest
police station if we wanted to register a complaint against them. This was
uncalled for considering neither of us ever mentioned the police and it was too
obvious that they were trying to intimidate us. My friend warned them that she
had relatives in Shimoga who would gather enough people in a moment’s notice if
they tried to act funny with us. We were left completely irritated with the
situation and the AC was still not consistently running, switching on and off
at different time intervals. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Before reaching Shimoga, a solo female passenger sitting in front
of me told us that the air vent above her seating was leaking. She asked the
conductor to come and check, who took about 10 minutes to be convinced it was
leaking before moving her to another seat next to a gentleman she obviously
didn’t know! I just wondered where the common sense of this conductor was in
adjusting her with a male passenger when he could have easily exchanged seats
for her to sit next to a female passenger. She surprisingly did not protest. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4H1CVvxc9n7xuBNBsp068vR0kDw-HbO6Z37vq3tsaepwP0poOpZDLh3SPxYgnY_NTR9KQgJcwYlHtCROfqFZ-HY-skqzKz5A-ZaduPxHBslczhY0ewNF0cY6q3etfVtvQuvGX0hDZkf5N/s1600/IMG_2776.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4H1CVvxc9n7xuBNBsp068vR0kDw-HbO6Z37vq3tsaepwP0poOpZDLh3SPxYgnY_NTR9KQgJcwYlHtCROfqFZ-HY-skqzKz5A-ZaduPxHBslczhY0ewNF0cY6q3etfVtvQuvGX0hDZkf5N/s1600/IMG_2776.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">At KSRTC Shimoga bus stand. The guy in white uniform is the bus driver (sweetly) explaining to our friend how the AC system in the bus works.</td></tr>
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Once we were at Shimoga, a friend (male) happened to stop by
at the bus station to meet my friend. The moment the bus driver saw this guy
speaking to us, he started explaining the situation in a very sweet tone to
this friend of my friend’s. He probably feared a local backlash, which is why
he spoke so sweetly to this guy, a complete contrast from the attitude he took
with us. Since I was anyway feeling a little better after taking the pill, we
decided to suck it up and get to Bangalore as it was just another 5-6 hours of
journey.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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While many may not feel like this story is as horrific as
what could have been, there’s a reason for that. It’s because we’ve all been
conditioned and programmed to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">adjust
maadi</i> all our lives that we’ve learned to accept such sub standard services
without a protest. The one hour ride before I took the pill felt like hell –
imagine being cooped up in a tightly shut bus with no ventilation (the windows
couldn’t be opened) and stale air to breathe, while the bus swirles along the Ghats!
Moreover, the attitude of the KSRTC employees was not the usual rude and
dismissive behavior of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">sarkaari</i>
servants that we’re so used to (mainly because of a lack of choice). Their body
language was clearly threatening and unbecoming for any employee in the
hospitality sector, even if it was a state run bus. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Considering that I survived the nightmare, I could have
easily moved on and simply sworn off using KSRTC ever again. But I know that
doesn’t really improve the service and in doing so, I effectively become part
of the inefficient system. Hence, I would like to request your patronage and
support on the following:<o:p></o:p></div>
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a) Please do not use sub standard Volvo buses to meet high
season demands. If a customer has booked and paid for an Airavat AC Volvo, they
should be getting nothing less than that. Especially, <o:p></o:p>KA 01.F.8072 should be discontinued from customer service until it has been fully fixed. Interestingly, there is <a href="http://www.ksrtc.in/site/passenger-safety" target="_blank">no mention of passenger safety measures in the bus</a>, except for accident relief trust.</div>
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b) Temporary dismissal (without leave) of the bus conductor and driver to train them on basic etiquettes and appropriate ways of
dealing with passengers (especially women) if such a situation were to arise. Just
to remind you, it was them who raised their voice at us first and started
yelling with no consideration for a moment about the passenger’s health or
difficulty. What if it was an asthmatic person in my place or what if I was all
alone or with someone who couldn’t speak Kannada? More than the stale air from
the dysfunctional AC, it was the stale attitude of your employees that made the
situation worse than it even needed to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I will also be writing an email to <a href="mailto:gmtraffic@ksrtc.org">gmtraffic@ksrtc.org</a> to complain against the operating crew and <a href="mailto:directortech@ksrtc.org">directortech@ksrtc.org</a> on the faulty air conditioning system. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9P8XN-k40Q39ZiUP-_9DokYCBy7bvS6wdzNuhoDkWMzEHq2Pvyklt-bG0IekfFRpld2LpCvEdrXKyc83-R6FVoBmaXsC_GH1x5MyD8hJck0BGtfM2aewv42N1aX4z_iQuuOntO_8ofIUn/s1600/IMG_2779.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9P8XN-k40Q39ZiUP-_9DokYCBy7bvS6wdzNuhoDkWMzEHq2Pvyklt-bG0IekfFRpld2LpCvEdrXKyc83-R6FVoBmaXsC_GH1x5MyD8hJck0BGtfM2aewv42N1aX4z_iQuuOntO_8ofIUn/s1600/IMG_2779.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If you booked a KSRTC Airavat AC Volvo bus and this shows up, don't get on it. Demand for the latest version of the bus!</td></tr>
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I request your response to this letter at the earliest with
an assurance of action that would be taken on the aforementioned points. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Sincerely,<o:p></o:p></div>
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An avid Airavat passenger. <o:p></o:p></div>
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the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-3157762625812377182014-08-03T06:26:00.000-07:002014-08-03T06:26:05.187-07:00Losing my mind, not my weight<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">HUGE! HUMONGOUS!
ALMOST OBESE! <b>Hands gesture holding a medicine ball</b> <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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People have been demonstrating the subtlety of a monster
truck in telling me how much weight I’ve gained and need to lose almost as
immediately as football WAGs do post pregnancy. The feedback wouldn’t be
unwarranted if my lifestyle had only consisted of excessive drinking,
absolutely no exercise, a regular routine of late night snacking and
exclusively living on take outs. I won’t deny some weekly highlights of this
behavior yet I’m one of those unfortunate ones whose metabolism is slower than
snail mail and these occasional indulgences with a lack of consistency in
working out or a healthy diet has taken a toll on my body. Beyond body esteem
issues, there are alarming problems with my stamina and level of energy as
well, which has been more troubling for a former school athlete like myself,
who never wasted even a single physical education period in school outside of
the court or playground. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But I don’t want to crib about body esteem issues that women
are faced with or recall the sweet memories of my relative childhood in repeat
shuffle. There are 2 important realizations I’ve had since entering adulthood
in more milestone (27<sup>th</sup> birthday, FTW) ways:<o:p></o:p></div>
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</div>
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<li><span style="text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">Just like pulling an all nighter of drinking and
going to work next day becomes less and less feasible as you spiral downward
towards 30, it becomes more and more easy for your body to pack on pounds as
your metabolism rate lowers. Yep, that innocent glazed or cream frosted donut
costs you more heavily than it ever did before 25.</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -18pt;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt;"> </span></span><span style="text-indent: -18pt;">With work and responsibilities that comes with
adulthood, finding time and energy for physical exercise (that came as
naturally as ‘playtime’ in childhood) is a management skill. Regardless, we
need to work towards it and take our time to master something so well managed
by our parents for so long.</span></li>
</ul>
<o:p></o:p><br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m consciously not including anything about food, even as I
have and am making more changes to my diet, because of the vast subjectivity
there is to it. I believe there’s no such thing as a ‘bad food’, just excesses.
Every food contains some nutrients in it, including that evil donut with its
high glucose content. Even if you were to consume any food rich in nutrients,
excess of that would consequentially mean a deficit of another. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Relationship with food is just as unique as any person’s relationship
with God or his or her vibrator. Some of us eat to survive whilst the much
cooler people you’ll love being around, LIVE TO EAT. Given the choice between
living on a GM diet for Kate Moss’ body and a balanced diet that allows the
occasional cheats for an average Kaley Cuocu-ish body, you know what I would
pick. The point is neither should be subject to judgment, given respective
individual priorities. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But the point of all this ramble is to drive the single most
significant thing missing in all this talk of weight loss around me – <i><b>where the
fuck are the positive reinforcements? </b></i><o:p></o:p></div>
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Almost all weight loss regimes work on negative
reinforcements, whether the emphasis on the kgs still to lose, the miles one
needs to run, the hours you need to punish your body or the food you have to
deprive yourself of. The post ab crunch body is supposedly the bait and the
light at the end of the tunnel but lets face it – only the most strong willed
see the light of this day! And surely for that, they must receive some reward,
something superficial like your dream wedding or have a gallantry award in this
category alone. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But fuck strong willed or semi-super humans. I’m not one of
those and I humbly take pride in my mediocrity. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Positive reinforcements? How does that work? I’m likely not
the first nor will be the last average Joe to ask this. But here are a few
thoughts that sound legit enough to blog and maybe, try out. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Health vs Taste</b> – Remember when I said that there's no such thing
as bad food, I lied. There is badly cooked or prepared food. Thanks to a few
good humans that still walk this earth, what is healthy for you doesn’t have to
suck in taste. I used to hate eating my greens until I discovered Italian food
and cooking, which has also moved me towards raw food to quite an extent. My
current thing is to replace all my flour and sugar loaded snacks with these
little green munchies with the right seasoning. Make boring food in more
interesting ways rather than dwell on the fact that you can’t eat the sinful
stuff. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Exercise vs Playtime</b> – I talked about how we all loved
(almost all of us) our evening or vacation playtime when we were little. Well, one of the many
things that suck about adulthood is how everything turns into a task and
anything associated with play is almost always a sexual euphemism. While sex is
a great way (although much acrobatic) to shed those extras, I’m gonna focus on
those exercises that you publically claim your membership for. You don’t have
to do Zumba if you hate anything close to what resembles dancing. I actually
hate the word ‘exercise’ for the nobility that is attached to it. Fuck, I need
and miss my playtime. Not saying that if you engaged in what you naturally like
will ensure you’d stick to it but it will help your attitude a lot more. Say,
would you like going dancing everyday or prefer exercising in the dance studio?
See what I mean. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Age vs Next Big Thing</b> – From all my talks with girlfriends
and ill advisors, age is quoted like the most damning thing to happen. I’m
embracing age with all the wisdom, experience and the opportunities to look
forward to. But hearing “Oh, it gets harder as you get older” for the nth time
(factually true it maybe like gravity) is a dampner. As a late bloomer, I
evolved in a lot of interesting ways that I never imagined in my early years. I
don’t know about you but I get the most inspired not by obnoxious child prodigies
but older and regular folks who achieve (and yes, surprisingly) something much
later, in their journey of self discovery. Move over Mark
Zuckerberg 'coz I’m digging that 50 year old who finished the ironman or climbed
base camp at Mount Everest! Similarly, the chance of rejuvenating yourself
(mentally or physically) for a new feat as opposed to the idea of saving whatever’s
left of your withering being is a lot more tantalizing, no?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Let me caution you or put a disclaimer that this is mostly something that I’ve been ruminating
much about, not a tried and tested formula. Maybe negative reinforcements do work better and I really don't know better right now since I'm still wading in the far dark swallows of the tunnel. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Knowing that it is normal to find ourselves in this dilemma,
as the fatty or the ‘concerned’ friend, I considered it worth sharing with
others to get their thoughts and experiences. If I haven’t made it obvious till
now, I’m very open to feedback <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span>
<o:p></o:p></div>
</div>
the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-47784893023098564722013-12-27T11:39:00.000-08:002013-12-27T11:40:39.211-08:005 Reasons Why Don Jon is NOT a Chick or Dick Flick<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Don Jon (the American spin off to the infamous Italian womanizing character, Don Juan) will give any viewer the false impression of a chick or a dick flick. For firsts, it has Joseph Gordon Lewitt (500 Days of Summer) and Scarlett Johansson (He's Just Not That Into You) on the lead that would make anyone gush about how cute as a button they make for a pair. On the record, 500 Days of Summer was a romantic comedy unlike any other, so folks can surely expect more substance from Lewitt. Secondly, it's a movie about a guy who has an apparent porn addiction that might give the impression of it being a 'guy movie'. While it is hard to say how much is too much for porn, save this character can't go a day without it inspite of an active sex life.<br />
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So how come it is neither? Here's why I think this movie makes the right mainstream cut while making an important cultural point.<br />
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1. Don Jon doesn't debase porn and leave it at that</h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdjRwUl3uGrCNpyVMT2LP7JsiUKNLNTZQHKoALycMGYHwTJOOsNztAvVpx05bhjUAZLNm3KvG-2qDQj2vK8QCXax5iDzThsBneR-rG97CP4ZSDna0lWrCloIFI8TVxmhIj3SKds5DJ3Ml3/s1600/n-DON-JON-JOSEPH-GORDON-LEVITT-large570.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdjRwUl3uGrCNpyVMT2LP7JsiUKNLNTZQHKoALycMGYHwTJOOsNztAvVpx05bhjUAZLNm3KvG-2qDQj2vK8QCXax5iDzThsBneR-rG97CP4ZSDna0lWrCloIFI8TVxmhIj3SKds5DJ3Ml3/s400/n-DON-JON-JOSEPH-GORDON-LEVITT-large570.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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I've seen a lot of movies either taking the higher moral ground about pornography or condoning it as, pretty much, a rite of passage that, well...continues on. This movie is critical about it but specifically for how it objectifies women (As the protagonist crosses a checklist of ass, boobs and blowjobs), how it lacks soul and creates unrealistic expectations in our mind. It also gets us a lot closer to the average male mind when Don says, porn is better than sex because of the lack of inhibition that women display apart from just how perfectly sculpted they are.<br />
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However, it also pokes fun at girlfriends like Johansson who believe that only sick people watch porn and breaks the myth that regular women don't watch porn. SPOILET ALERT but in one scene, the character of Julianna Moore comes up to Don Jon to share something more aesthetically crafted from her dirty collection, which he takes much offense to.<br />
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2. Don Jon is a satire on romantic comedies</h3>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimsBP6YHxrvOG_AYZ8XiEM-fb_dYtDqnj_1SyuWkJhCcFt74SxOOEafKmnHHZmxyXxpHLrgoFNAmc0GhhJFblBjUF_9pLIAEj9BviAB8ZQYH7fzBp8LcQpKxjMpkrQ0AhYyuIxm_fDuVCX/s1600/tumblr_mskh5fihs31srko8to1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimsBP6YHxrvOG_AYZ8XiEM-fb_dYtDqnj_1SyuWkJhCcFt74SxOOEafKmnHHZmxyXxpHLrgoFNAmc0GhhJFblBjUF_9pLIAEj9BviAB8ZQYH7fzBp8LcQpKxjMpkrQ0AhYyuIxm_fDuVCX/s400/tumblr_mskh5fihs31srko8to1_500.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Clearly, his character isn't the only who has an addiction or a problem of unrealistic expectation. His girlfriend dopes on movies that show bonny looking couples who fall in love in the most dire or unusual of circumstances, where the guy gives up everything to be with the girl he loves. "Don't you think it's a little one sided?", he asks her and she brushes it off with no inkling that porn and romcoms could be more similar in constructing the 'perfect' caricatures of a man or woman.<br />
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3. Don Jon is a serious movie on human connection, not what gets flouted as love.</h3>
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Thanks to what sells that feeds off and into our fantasies and the apparent heteronormative convention of society, Don Jon challenges safe structures that society accepts on the surface, never once glancing into the real underlying and largely repressed emotions. It's easy to dismiss his inability towards any real connection because of his porn addiction but a closer examination of his family and religious values and practices hints a much stronger influence. A family happy enough for him to bring a tight assed white girl and a church that absolves him of all his sins with x number of 'Hail Mary' prayers with no real question or concern for his actions or feelings will maketh a very mechanical man out of anyone. <br />
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<h3 style="text-align: left;">
4. Don Jon is, most surprisingly, a very feminist movie</h3>
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A very miniscule minority of men today can offer the male perspective and without a feminist witch hunt agenda, criticize women's behaviour patterns on theories based out of 'Women from Venus'. Feminism doesn't favour one gender over another but aims to equate critcism and reflection for all, including the queer community. Mills and Boons has pretty much been porn for women for ages now and this movie is a very polite wake up call. It tells men that you can be all beefed up and smooth with women and yet never make a real connection while it would take care of your progeny and social status. It tells women to adjust expectations that the ideal man isn't a dog you play fetch with.<br />
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5. Joseph Gordon Lewitt</h3>
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Move over Ryan Gosling fandom and the much-too-conceited James Franco. JGL is no new kid in the block but this bloke is making us weak in the knees and our thinking minds sharper with every instalment of his. It might seem to many like the child artist has finally grown up but much like Leonardo Di Caprio, JGL has always been a mature actor, wise and crafty in the roles he has played. Who else could give this kind of depth to the role of an average jock who cares about 5 things only - his car, gym, family, women and church.<br />
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the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-44417169753830425612013-07-12T03:37:00.003-07:002013-07-12T03:42:25.446-07:00Too ‘Silky’ for your shirt?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial; line-height: 150%;"><i>This piece was written for a blog when The Dirty Picture (2011) had just released. For reasons unknown, it never got published where it was intended to be. My two cents on the sultry siren, Silk Smitha, even if 2 years too late.</i></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">I
was 8 or 9 years old when I first saw ‘Sadma’ (1983), a Bollywood movie featuring
Kamal Hassan, Sridevi and the recently riveted, Silk Smitha, in a role uncommon
for those times. Released in the 80’s, I watched this movie in the 90’s on
cable television, when it often aired as a matinee show and not necessarily as
a ‘late night fiesta’. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, those were
the golden days of uncensored television viewing, following the significant
privatization of industries and networks in India. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijpBzyM9E-wwbCDQHAxNavMdBLaruSHtXaVQusJt1NJVauTti-SpbyGqZbdMkeXm2ZmxcjZ6yGlnAGf9t5Xsv8e4jFl5MlfR3zwYnbXoVr8Ha2gk1-ZxEqzHovaWKpC4GnIYehpMeOsM8P/s1600/silk-smitha-14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="color: white;"><img border="0" height="327" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijpBzyM9E-wwbCDQHAxNavMdBLaruSHtXaVQusJt1NJVauTti-SpbyGqZbdMkeXm2ZmxcjZ6yGlnAGf9t5Xsv8e4jFl5MlfR3zwYnbXoVr8Ha2gk1-ZxEqzHovaWKpC4GnIYehpMeOsM8P/s400/silk-smitha-14.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: white;">Silk Smitha in Sadma (1983)</span></td></tr>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Originally
christened Vijaylakshmi, Silk Smitha was once the most sought after actresses
in the Tamil Film Industry in South India for portraying little clothes and
character in raunchy scenes and vamp roles in the 80’s. By the 90’s, with a
declining career and demand, she met with a tragic early demise. Even at a very
young age, in the movie mentioned above, she didn’t quite appeal to me stereotypically
as a ‘vamp’ on the sole basis of her explicit sexuality but just a woman who
had excessively high ‘physical’ needs than most (men & women) displayed and
was ‘trapped’ in a situation that did not meet her ideal expectations. She
wasn’t out to hurt or offend anyone; she just wanted to complete herself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">The
point of this nostalgic narration is that while most of us, including myself,
waited in great anticipation for Vidya Balan to portray the personality and
sexuality of a woman like Silk, my expectations were a little different, in the
impression she had left as a kid. I could sense from the beginning and was right
on target about the fact that most people were eager to see how Balan could
portray a ‘character less’ (I love this term for its many connotations) woman
without some of her own merit, as an A grad actor, taking a blow. I, on the
other hand, was more eager to see how closely could Balan emulate the Southern
Siren because frankly I haven’t really seen that kind of uninhibited &
‘shameless’ sexuality in too many women since her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Balan
makes many brave attempts in the movie at elucidating Silk’s sensuality whether
it was making love to the whip as an extra in a song shooting or to the froth
and bubbles in the bathtub. Yet, what was most interestingly shown was how
(before stardom struck & she was just a ‘commoner’) she made orgasmic
noises to tease the neighboring couple while they were busy at nature’s best
business. To Balan’s ‘loud’ meddling, the dutiful wife lying underneath responded,
“While I suffer, she enjoys!”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">There
were two things that struck me: one, the culminating ending in the movie and
two, media treatment of Silk Smitha post her departure from the industry and
the world more than a decade ago. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Milan
Luthra denies the story being based purely and solely on Silk’s life and agrees
that the character was a stereotypical portrayal. Through the movie, what we
witness is someone who boldly crossed those boundaries of modesty set around
women yet could not break them and eventually, got broken by them. Yes, they
showed a humanistic side of her but as much exaggerated the dramatics showdowns
with the superstar’s wife (whose husband she was sleeping with), a rival sex
kitten and a gossip columnist. Her eventual downfall, as a woman who took a
stand and stood by it, with the alcohol, nicotine and loneliness was portrayed as
if reprimanding her of her actions. It was such a demonstrative lesson of that’s-what-you-get-for-using-your-sexuality-as-a-tool!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">The
features and editorials leading up to the previews of the movie and post reviews
have been like obituaries written too late. Most of them have sympathized with
her as someone who was ‘ahead of her times’ and ended up in the rear end of the
hypocritical society that loved to hate her. But I don’t really see us as any
different or more progressive as we’d like to so easily believe sometimes. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">If
it was Marilyn Monroe in the fifties and Silk Smitha in the eighties, we do
have our current brigade of Kim Kardashian, Poonam Pandey and Veena Malik of
the post 2k generation. I agree the comparison maybe way off but their routes
to ‘stardom’ in congruence with the demands and desires of the audience (i.e.
us) are much too similar. We do love despising these women for just boldly
doing what they do…whatever they do, that is.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Are we a society always dismissive of female sex
symbols and sirens? Men flash all the time and make all kinds of ‘dirty
pictures’ but they still don’t seem to be reeling in the same spotlight of the
moralistic flack. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Will we always keep demonizing our desires, in
particular when women mirror reflect them? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: white; font-family: Arial; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">To many, Silk promoted skin. To me, she promoted pleasure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-30563881119658379402013-06-10T00:20:00.002-07:002013-06-10T00:20:55.025-07:00TOI's idea of change is anarchist <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
The Times of India is (almost without doubt) one of the mightiest news publications in India has a huge marketing budget to promote the same idea to its readers. This, of course, has everything to do with the advertisment revenue that it earns from the four wheel full spread page and inappropriate placements of baby care products or food alongside captivating headlines that read like, "3 in 5 children in India are malnourished". But you know, that's all okay.</div>
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The Times of India is all about the latest in news and views of all current topics and burning issues that the youth especially like to be keyed in about. Never mind that the 18-25 age bracket know little about the depth of any issue, they must be given enough fodder everyday that energizes them enough to rant and be outraged about on Twitter and Facebook. Who wants to live in the adage of "old is gold" when it is small townish, slow, bureacratic and stuck in a time warp (as they targeted The Hindu in an ad war series last year that created much unnecessary furore) when you can <a data-mce-href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxz4WvGG7uA" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxz4WvGG7uA">wake up to The Times of India</a> today.</div>
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<div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
The latest in their efforts to mobilize the country comes in their advertisement, 'I Lead India 2013 - I Will be the Change' where people suddenly pick up the chairs, couches and beds they were blissfully seated on and carry them while marching forward to build a collective bonfire. I, at first, thought this was an advertisement for Lori but even when they didn't throw ground nuts in the fire, it still didn't convey the message. Was the act of carrying your chair and burning it like having your cake and eating it? No. Or was it symbolism for getting off your behind and taking action rather than talking about it over tea and tweeting?</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
My problem is that TOI's wake up call comes at an imperfect time. The case studies of social media bringing people out in the streets of Tahrir Square, Jantar Mantar, Wall Street, India Gate are contemporary histories now. This isn't to say that they've been forgotten or that they haven't become user template guides to starting a revolution in your country. But whether it's respect to corruption in the system or rape of our women by the system and society, the revolutionary spark has come and gone.</div>
<div style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', 'Bitstream Charter', Times, serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 19px;">
For India, right now we're at that time of the revolution when follow up on the progress work of resolving the issue is critical. This, in fact, is the most challenging part since the onus to lead, self monitor and institutionalize the change in system against bureacratic resistance is mostly left to individual resilience. This is also the part of the revolution where groupies and social loafers are sieved out of the movement leaving the committed few to build the blocks.</div>
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Everyone can join a movement just like anyone can join a mob regardless of knowing what's really on the agenda (You could try speaking to a few of them in Gujarat). Taking to the streets and braving water bombs and tear gas shells is really the peak of the party but the actual hard work comes in the preparation to it and its cleaning up. The loud party, however, is the first critical step in taking everyone's notice to something that was paid little or serious attention to before.</div>
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But we've done that in the summer last to last year and just the winter that went by. Now is the time for the empowered individuals and bodies to continue to stand on their ground and sync their efforts towards this change.</div>
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The noise has been made TOI. So why are you still asking us to burn chairs?</div>
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the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-2470963269535722202013-06-02T12:19:00.002-07:002013-06-02T12:19:40.476-07:00A stranger in the mist<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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The policewoman at the airport security check scans me with
her beeper and asks where I was from. I looked surprised at the question given
that anyone catching a flight to Imphal goes there because of one reason only –
they belong there some way or the other. I, on the other hand, am one unique
tourist, foreigner and outsider who doesn’t need an inner line permit.</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvkkAudbXrF4p2rZYZLJWXPOOzBtN2l9XzJoULzZPMnEtWAk5ckixguVc1pMoyJBaQ1x6eYVPG-IG9jFmWnBt87-OYjvQfKYtOAwofP_ACcuLZf_x5bGbmtlW39wkNl8Q0gRqFzMdjT2j2/s1600/IMG_3890.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvkkAudbXrF4p2rZYZLJWXPOOzBtN2l9XzJoULzZPMnEtWAk5ckixguVc1pMoyJBaQ1x6eYVPG-IG9jFmWnBt87-OYjvQfKYtOAwofP_ACcuLZf_x5bGbmtlW39wkNl8Q0gRqFzMdjT2j2/s400/IMG_3890.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Boys at dusk near Loktak lake, the largest and perhaps, the most beautiful lake I've ever seen anywhere in India.</td></tr>
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It has been 6 years since I was last here, long enough to
make me feel guilty about being so distant from my roots. However, as soon as I
left the premises of the airport eager to see the changes in the capital city
of Manipur, I felt like I hadn’t missed much in the last half decade. Barring
billboards featuring a formerly unacknowledged sporting legend, the place
hadn’t changed from its local <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ima</i>
(run by women) markets, plentiful <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">kirana</i>
shops and the omnipresence of armed security forces posted at different city
centers.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I carry the identity of an outsider everywhere I go –
whether it is in the capital of the country, which groomed me to the harsh
realities of the big bad world of adulthood in 11 years or the IT capital where
I moved for greener grasses and a more metropolitan culture. I, often, am asked
about either the troubled insurgent political situation of my home state and my
stand on AFSPA and Irom Sharmila’s struggle or the souvenir I can bring back
for cultural enthrallment and the exotic locales that remain unexploited in the
little state, often submerged in the singularly misleading identity of the
‘seven sisters’ or the North East. But what do I really know about my state except
for the few towns and villages where different variations of my extended family
and tribal community live? Home for me had only thus far been the meaningless
charade of meeting relatives who spoke in an alien language and failingly
attempted to familiarize me with their way of life each time I visited. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I put my foot down this time, telling my mother I was grown
up enough to choose how I spend my limited paid leave. She humored my appeal to
be treated like an adult and neatly sifted through the pages of Air India in-flight
magazine to design an itinerary for my trip. My parents don’t exactly fit like
puzzle pieces in their home state anymore despite having grown up here and
having links to the community in each town and city that my dad was posted to
while serving in the Indian Army. The Army takes you places, exposes you to
diversity and development and mainstreams you into the great Indian aspiration
of earning a 6 figure salary in a prominent metropolitan with an annual
vacation abroad. This while people in Manipur still struggle with power and
water supply, unprecedented curfews in the city every alternate week and the
looming threat of insurgent terrorism or exploitation at the hands of those pledged
to protect them, both the militant groups and the Army. <o:p></o:p></div>
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As I travelled past the old familiar towns and districts, I
noticed the many billboards of the Indian Army, many of which boasted of their
welfare work for the local communities. Much has been written about the inhuman
atrocities committed by armed forces personnel under direct and urgent
instructions to weed out militants with unparalleled power and immunity in
their line of work. I sat and drank tea at an Assam Rifles base perched atop a
hillock at Loktak lake, the largest freshwater lake in the entire North East,
that was formerly occupied by militant forces. The hospitable commanding
officer, who has extensively been part of many operations in the state, talks
about the many areas his dispatch had conquered from the militants. It would
have been contentious to ask about the details of these operations in my
circumstances as a guest (and him knowing that I work as an online journalist)
so I refrained for the better wisdom of knowing he would hardly reveal anything
worth a quote. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve always wondered about the diplomatic positions of
people who grow up outside of their homes that are declared unfit for peace. I’ve
always been somewhat in the grey about the challenges Manipur has faced, especially
when AFSPA has been the most notable one in the last decade or so. Vicariously
knowing the realities through close cousins and relatives at home, I’ve rarely
heard of incidents relating to any harassment by armed forces personnel
themselves, however. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the other hand, an uncle’s car being “borrowed” at gunpoint
by militants and people being routinely subjected to extortions when they open
up a new shop or built a new house is commonplace, at least in Churachandpur
district of Manipur. What I most closely and disturbingly know about is how
militants disturbed the peace in my own extended family some years back when my
grandfather (who is no more with us) was taken by militants and my uncle was
subjected to such torture, that he hasn’t mentally recovered from it till
today. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The violation and loss of those who suffered in the hands of
the Army must not be dismissed away as collateral damage. But to my mind, AFSPA
has been a convenient scapegoat for the Central Government to focus mainstream media’s
attention away from the many inconsistencies in the system – whether it is the
widespread corruption, project development lags and a dysfunctional tourism to
pin point only a few in a list of problems piling up. The presence of AFSPA
does make life uncertain in Manipur but its full departure will not restore the
state back to its normalcy, forget glory. Not when a rising number of militant
groups are all independently asking for a separate state when, much like Maoist
groups, are just asking for attention to their problems long tucked away from
the nation’s bigger challenges – corruption in T20 and naked mannequins, to
name just a few of the gripping ones.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
People in Manipur have more than accepted corruption, not
just for better standards of life, but the only way to survive. A handful make
it to the cream of the Government services (and are lauded to infinity), most
others bribe their way into positions at district councils while a few others
venture out to work in various sectors ranging from hospitality and BPO to
academia, journalism and even entrepreneurship in rising metropolitans. But the
degree of resilience is a lot to ask from everyone to either have the resources
or assert their identity in mainstream societies. Instead, a place in a
militant group aiming at a revolutionary coup, that coercively commands respect
among the commoners, becomes all too lucrative a career option for the youth in
the absence of a career day at school or college. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNmly7Oc5F-XeZOxK1jPFSShWEkE8V5tpX55IP-bycK2alhQoPen9jrNGiITINglIn_GwlhVrJZlNdSnulhilbQOF0IC-o0SuuWPMU14bXfA34d3VTu6ad5EvmAveumR5OY5BSqN7zIThA/s1600/IMG_4016.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNmly7Oc5F-XeZOxK1jPFSShWEkE8V5tpX55IP-bycK2alhQoPen9jrNGiITINglIn_GwlhVrJZlNdSnulhilbQOF0IC-o0SuuWPMU14bXfA34d3VTu6ad5EvmAveumR5OY5BSqN7zIThA/s400/IMG_4016.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sex, drugs and rock and roll is how Manipur's glaring issues of HIV rates, western idealism and misguided youth is often romanticized. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
AFSPA is yet another shame of an excuse by the Government to
justify its lack of concern for a region that largely comes under the scheduled
tribes and castes. Yet it isn’t the cause of all things wrong in the society
and system today in Manipur. If anything that must be blamed, it is the
Government that cares more towards maintaining its status quo authority through
more than a decade than delivering any of its promises for systemic
improvements. When you don’t have the necessities of water and electricity and
are neglected and treated like a stranger in your own land, you will feel like
shooting somebody…anybody! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Maybe we need to start questioning the ‘divide and rule’
governance of the various sects and tribes that has been costing the people of
Manipur since the ethnic conflicts in the 90’s aside from the collateral damage
conducted by external forces. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
A torrential hailstorm, that occurred a month back, wiped
out houses and uprooted trees in many districts of the state. The
losses people suffered and the status of Government compensation is
not the kind of news that would interest mainstream media or Abhay Deol.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why? Because Manipur's problems would become akin to any other state, like Bihar, when it is Indian media’s very
own Congo war. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Manipur trends only because of AFSPA because its real problems are not news worthy or social media virality. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u>Disclaimer</u>: This is an overdue post of my homecoming in Manipur (April 2013) and must warn that my analysis of the socio-political situation is still pretty much from the perspective of a native outsider looking in. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-49833169231724789742013-04-05T08:07:00.002-07:002013-04-05T08:07:37.495-07:00Alien Nation <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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As I grow older, I’m becoming more like my father – cynical,
asocial and wiser than for her own good. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This wisdom that I speak of comes in identifying the
boundaries that divide us; that makes us who we are but also disassociates us,
and often with an air of being better off, from each other. This, of course, is
a normal part of growing up, or now as I would call it, growing old. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This natural stage of development manifests itself in more complex
(read, troubled) ways through socially constructed notions of hierarchy. When
you’re a minority in every crucial aspect of your identity, this is like a
day-to-day challenge (read, nightmare). Surely, the ones with the wind in their
hair would say that this is ultimately all in the head and if you perceived
life more affably, the karmic process would favour you without fail. Except
that I didn’t see differences, and in many key ways I still don’t see them as
interferences, until I was shown in manners I least expected and when I was
clearly not asking for them. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my idealistic notion, I believe I represent all things
diversity– in the way I speak, those I speak for, the way I dress, the TV shows
I watch, the music I listen to, the friends I keep or the ones I only choose to
have an occasional drink with. Yet, to most people and from their respective
contexts, I’m strange / queer / exotic / different – an alien. I’m either
exotic courtesy my race or place of origin; strange because I don’t conform to
some (rather) fixed notions of beauty; queer because of my appetite for sexual
innuendos or the number of people that I incidentally know are gay; and
different for all these and other inexplicable reasons. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While a lot of people have liked me more or found these very
qualities endearing, I’ve more often been (and will continue to be) derided,
insulted, trivialized and (attempted to be) silenced for this very heavy baggage
that I carry about. And before anyone could assume this has anything to do with
people less educated, less read or any less savvy about the ongoings of the
world – everyone ultimately is limited to a context and a certain environment
including me. Only that I’ve always been very conscious of the limitations of
my worldview yet perpetually made attempts to go beyond and only been
successful to a significant extent when the effort has been just as mutual. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unfortunate and also surprising that in many cases, it
wasn’t. While I’ve never tried to offend anyone in particular, I realized a lot
of what I say and write might be, in the sense that it disturbs some set views,
perhaps, even occasionally attempts to invalidate contexts that came as given
realities to you. Agreeing to disagree with each other and tolerating
difference of opinions are much deeper in color than what may appear on the
canvas. Surely, our opinion will be sound with where we come from but often
don’t we let it get too convenient as well? Aren’t you scared of the latter over
riding your worldview despite the feign bliss that it promises?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In my lifetime, I’ve had to deal with some very
uncomfortable realities and a lot because I chose to deal with them as they
came than repress or whisk it away for the fear of losing stability. Each one
pushed me a little bit more out of the fairytale view that most mainstreamers
grow up with and successively as a result, I became different /queer/
strange/exotic – an alien. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In a world where increasingly diversity is becoming a part
of pop culture and queer is cool, don’t let up on asking even the most basic
questions for your satisfaction or challenging notions that haven’t fully
seeped into your thick membrane even if that is a part of the mainstream that you
eat, drink and breathe. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcEAY4K34wHj2vYFKTdUz2qLS9lkuLVsXkV8S_YV2alafjT92NAkCpff9e3zw74Ugu7qqNqgAsTAChkLxJ-h-EFAU4AYr1yjqBIZDa_Jr3HxEgTmIzN9iqHZ0RUiasbziK_oas9EhD9hoL/s1600/6757809_700b_v1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="288" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcEAY4K34wHj2vYFKTdUz2qLS9lkuLVsXkV8S_YV2alafjT92NAkCpff9e3zw74Ugu7qqNqgAsTAChkLxJ-h-EFAU4AYr1yjqBIZDa_Jr3HxEgTmIzN9iqHZ0RUiasbziK_oas9EhD9hoL/s400/6757809_700b_v1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-10546819132337010572011-12-07T10:50:00.000-08:002011-12-07T11:49:54.780-08:00The Sex Wars!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtE9fhHyWrpW59cz-29FMt2Sx_W35pkl7MVkBNpKpxuHhCvvf6ms4lPaPjESUAbQ2bK-inZRk2nSwxWZEqNGieXxNe8dBBF5tESEGWU39_zk2JJl3ArHk4Kl6L8yuaWTuf_qmRkKhDuxlz/s1600/vaginas+vs+penises+++DRUNK+TIKI.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #b45f06; color: white;"><img border="0" height="249" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtE9fhHyWrpW59cz-29FMt2Sx_W35pkl7MVkBNpKpxuHhCvvf6ms4lPaPjESUAbQ2bK-inZRk2nSwxWZEqNGieXxNe8dBBF5tESEGWU39_zk2JJl3ArHk4Kl6L8yuaWTuf_qmRkKhDuxlz/s320/vaginas+vs+penises+++DRUNK+TIKI.png" width="320" /></span></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #b45f06; color: white;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #b45f06; color: white;">The journey of growth from a boy to a tall guy than eventually coming around to becoming a man is filled with the pressure to ‘perform’ all the time. Being born into this sex, there is a sense of leadership that everyone instantly expects you to live upto whether in your family, peer group or at work. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #b45f06; color: white;">Many men see women as having it relatively easy. <i>They just have to conform while we have to perform.</i> It’s quite like walking on a thin rope with your masculinity in the line, always. Because before they know that they’re going off balance, someone will either question in concern or condescension if you “have the balls” or that you probably need to “grow a pair” lest you want to be called a “pussy” ever in your life. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #b45f06; color: white;"><br />
If you are anything like me, you go into questioning the small (many consider ‘silly’) little details of rhetorical statements like these. I, myself, as a woman and an ambivalent feminist have been employing these phrases and I really can’t be blamed coz of their widespread usage in every other language that I come to encounter or hear. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #b45f06; color: white;">Having the balls or a pair metaphorically means much more than the biological possession of the genitilia. It connotes possessing guts, strength, courage, machismo – all positive affirmatives of masculinity and individuality. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #b45f06; color: white;">“Being a pussy” by means of attaching a harmless and demure animal like a kitten to the female genitilia connotes cowardice and weakness that one associates with being a hapless damsel in distress. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #b45f06; color: white;">But why such gross underestimation of the ‘vagina’ and superfluous worship of the ‘penis’? Despite being one of nature’s most interesting designs, the female vagina has been so short credited of all its beauty. The vagina protects itself from dust and dirt and is a self cleansing organ. The Penis? Nope! T<span class="apple-style-span"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">here are 8000 nerve endings in the clitoris, dedicated exclusively to female pleasure. The penis only has 4000. This is quite an ironical fact considering many women live their lives never finding their G spot! </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span" style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Even one of the most eminent figures in Psychology, Sigmund Freud attached way too much importance to the penis in his theories accusing girls of experiencing something called “penis envy” in their psycho-sexual development. Feminist psychoanalyst, Karen Horney counter balanced Freud with her interpretative theory of men experiencing what she called the “womb envy”. The famous urban legend of ‘Vagina Dentata’ (literally means, vagina with teeth) also probably emerged as a feminist backlash to all the violence meted out by men against women like it was their birthright. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #b45f06; color: white;"><span class="apple-style-span">Many theorists explain the greater participation of men in physical violence by the anatomy of the penis as an overt form that looks to penetrate and conquer whereas the vagina must secure itself from intruders entering with women, thus, having a greater endurance and tolerance level. It explains how </span>women not just conceal by clothing but hide away in their posture sitting cross legged as though anything wider would mean an open invitation of sorts. <span class="apple-style-span"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span" style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">All these theories and the many references in pop culture are very convincing to lead many of us to believe them to be universally or scientifically true while they are just clever ways to perpetuate gender conforming beliefs. If you examine the politics in the practice of genital modification across cultures and religions, it has such a harmful impression on both genders. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span" style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">While circumcision of the penis, practiced amongst Muslims and Jews, has many health advantages to it, female genital moderation is purely by cultural custom meant to reduce a woman’s sex drive and abstain them from ‘pleasure’ during intercourse. Nor is male circumcision without controversy where the claims of the reduced chances of sexually transmitted diseases (in heterosexual intercourse) and penile cancer or enhanced penile hygiene have inconclusively mixed evidence. Not to of course forget the issue of ‘consent’ in it where many are circumcised at infancy or even if at adolescence, without giving them the space to question or challenge the authority of an age old custom. Further to this, female genital mutilation (read more about FGM <a href="http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs241/en/">here</a>) is also a form of violence perpetuated in many politically unstable countries and male circumcision is perfectly legal in every culture and country. How can men be expected to break any cultural moulds or cycles of violence when they go through rituals just as strictly without consent or challenge? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span" style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">There is a lot of fuss around our genitals defining much of our lives or even whether we live, when they don’t determine our sexual orientation, social identity, food, our drive to succeed. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span" style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">It is over this fuss that babies are brutally killed. It is over this fuss that many don’t find a place in the society and are shunned to live in shady sidelines. It is over this fuss that some of us can’t choose to go out for business or pleasure at certain hours or to certain places. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="apple-style-span" style="background-color: #b45f06;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">It is the fuss over our genitals that divide the sexes into feeling privileged and deprived in their own places, dividing them instead of uniting them to work together.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div><i style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #b45f06; color: white;">This Blog is <a href="http://halabol.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">Halabol's</a> entry to the <b>Men Say No Blogathon, </b>encouraging men to take up action against the violence faced by women. </span></i></div><div><i style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #b45f06; color: white;"><br />
</span></i></div><div><div style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: #b45f06; color: white;">More entries to the Blogathon can be read at <a href="http://www.mustbol.in/blogathon" target="_blank">www.mustbol.in/blogathon</a>. Join further conversation on <a href="http://facebook.com/delhiyouth" target="_blank">facebook.com/delhiyouth</a> & <a href="http://twitter.com/mustbol" target="_blank">t<wbr></wbr>witter.com/mustbol</a></span></i><br />
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<i>You can join the conversation for social change with Halabol on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/halabol" target="_blank">Facebook</a> and <a href="http://twitter.com/#%21/halabol" target="_blank">Twitter</a>. </i></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF5uB299hTWhLfBUqEBUYDpxDk19aEf9M__qXOr-bM6EtQGoljgNJDAsEdll28ox-5i6VPJWGuk6qGttWqjmEjUNpXtjTCA6F1CYo93UKP-YAUbmwP4Br8ikIIwXkA1-gks_b-4BpNVOoU/s1600/326291_143590875747424_143489132424265_164781_1052104224_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhF5uB299hTWhLfBUqEBUYDpxDk19aEf9M__qXOr-bM6EtQGoljgNJDAsEdll28ox-5i6VPJWGuk6qGttWqjmEjUNpXtjTCA6F1CYo93UKP-YAUbmwP4Br8ikIIwXkA1-gks_b-4BpNVOoU/s640/326291_143590875747424_143489132424265_164781_1052104224_o.jpg" width="452" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: #b45f06; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10.5pt;"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><br />
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</o:p></span></div></div>the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-35421158297716806792011-11-09T00:06:00.000-08:002011-11-09T00:06:53.892-08:00Metallica, the Meltdown in Delhi<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm5FISj_xm-_HcCL4sSiSw2H60q6Trj0ITD2AaFcBMKGoz1HpX0eQl4feqRESSGQyearZxyZQI2tb4nbwYcesmhTovEahYzbPufjCG7S58-uN72m3-FAg3kPToNdIa3X_aVHh2WvIqyB0k/s1600/Zabeeh+Afaque+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="251" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgm5FISj_xm-_HcCL4sSiSw2H60q6Trj0ITD2AaFcBMKGoz1HpX0eQl4feqRESSGQyearZxyZQI2tb4nbwYcesmhTovEahYzbPufjCG7S58-uN72m3-FAg3kPToNdIa3X_aVHh2WvIqyB0k/s400/Zabeeh+Afaque+3.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Photo Courtesy: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;">Zabeeh Afaque/ Hindustan Times</span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><b>Writer's Note</b>: This piece comes more than two weeks too late following the cancellation of Metallica concert in Gurgaon, Haryana (India). </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">There is an uncanny resemblance between the flow of music and material goods from the hierarchy of the <st1:place>First World</st1:place> to the Third. Sarojini Nagar Market & the Western Music scene in <st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region> are two cases in point. Both sell market rejects. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Bear with me oh self proclaimed metal head (with the claim of knowing all discographies; also easily available in Wikipedia), for I have nothing against metal and certainly am a bigger junkie for shopping outside of showrooms. But it does eat away at my soul when mostly the ‘Has Beens’ of the music industry come and ‘grace’ us with their presence. When Prodigy successfully performed in Gurgaon earlier this year, I was just puzzled why a Coldplay, System of a Down or an Adele won’t play in town. Furthermore, I was bewildered by the number of “dedicated” Prodigy fans that cropped up as if they all decided to come out of the closet after all these years once the show was announced. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">They say it takes 10 years for masses in <st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region> to catch up with international music acts and in another ten, once the act wears off from the contemporary scene of the Billboards and the Grammys, its time to relive their past glory in the land of ashrams, spirituality and suckers who call music by Aqua evergreen. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Now I won’t go into some fourfold analysis into why and how the concert was a success in <st1:city><st1:place>Bangalore</st1:place></st1:city>, known to host more and better rock acts than the NCR region ever has. For a deeper analysis on the factors that failed in <st1:city><st1:place>Delhi</st1:place></st1:city>, you may like to refer to Abhiroop Datta’s, a disgruntled yet hopeful fan, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/notes/abhiroop-datta/i-was-at-gurgaon-on-2810-a-super-duper-long-and-overly-detailed-account-of-what-/10150363133627052"><span style="color: windowtext;">detailed</span></a> account of the event, pre and post. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;">Sanya Rai Gupta, who attended the shows in both cities, said, <i>“<span class="apple-style-span"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">I felt that the </span></span></i><st1:city><st1:place><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">Bangalore</span></i></span></st1:place></st1:city><span class="apple-style-span"><i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;"> gig was way more organized, in terms of the waiting time, the crowds and the timing. Metallica played for about two hours, and there was a short gap between when they started playing and the opening bands stopped...but the crowds were pretty enthusiastic and patient.”</span></i><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;"> Yet, no one can assume with confidence if the audience in </span></span><st1:city><st1:place><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;">Bangalore</span></span></st1:place></st1:city><span class="apple-style-span"><span style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial;"> would have reacted the same, if the management had subjected them to the same debacle that Delhiites faced. </span></span> <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">There have been multiple observations and commentaries on the mobs and the vandalism, some sympathizing with their frustration, others delineating via dialects how they were, in fact, not from around town. Amongst all the arguments in the debate whether it was the management versus the crowd to be blamed or the <st1:city><st1:place>Delhi</st1:place></st1:city> against <st1:city><st1:place>Bangalore</st1:place></st1:city> rock culture, the words of <a href="http://rahulsarin.com/music/the-day-that-shouldve-never-come-489/">Blogger Rahul Sarin</a> most strongly agreed with me, when he said: </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; margin-bottom: 9pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; text-indent: 12pt; vertical-align: baseline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: black;"><i>You on the other hand, dear band members, were sitting in your hotel room, comfortably. You did not have the courtesy to apologize to your fans. Your crew treated the audience like dogs by hurling abuses at them and insulting them. Had this been </i><st1:country-region><st1:place><i>USA</i></st1:place></st1:country-region><i>, </i><st1:country-region><st1:place><i>UK</i></st1:place></st1:country-region><i> or any other nation for that matter, you’d have not dare messed with the audience by way of insults.<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Given my apparent prejudice towards Delhiites, the failure of a Metallica concert turning into mob madness would have normally amused the sadist in me. However, in the spirit of justice and value for entertainment, I personally (despite my physical absence from the scene) felt ragged by the unapologetic attitude of the management, the band and the crew. Media reports claimed that the band refused to play out of concern for the safety and security of the audience. Accepted but in a better PR exercise, they should have issued a more consolatory press statement and reached out to their fans via Twitter. <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/ladygaga">Lady Gaga</a>, another visiting artist in <st1:country-region><st1:place>India</st1:place></st1:country-region> for the Formula 1, does not have the largest Twitter followers for no reason! <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5x4xvcXlVUjso3TQNFfzqykUpRHoee8Amn84StCnC6UyzSKCj71ujXY3Rpf2KiB2yrpp2vqUTCK7zE2Mx1S7NeZDguu3EeZGeEw3X6sOILMp4lhOijH4I-e3fgx32YuYW6iElQHVYNejw/s1600/Zabeeh+Afaque+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5x4xvcXlVUjso3TQNFfzqykUpRHoee8Amn84StCnC6UyzSKCj71ujXY3Rpf2KiB2yrpp2vqUTCK7zE2Mx1S7NeZDguu3EeZGeEw3X6sOILMp4lhOijH4I-e3fgx32YuYW6iElQHVYNejw/s400/Zabeeh+Afaque+1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Photo Courtesy: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: white;">Zabeeh Afaque/ Hindustan Times</span></span></td></tr>
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">We no longer inhabit a world where artists, celebrities or even the Government can maintain a snooty distance from the public and remain inaccessible to their fans. Thanks to Social Media, Jasmine revolution for democracy in the <st1:place>Middle East</st1:place> and rising fuel prices, voices don’t just come out in small circles but explode in the World Wide Web. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The NCR region has held many events on a much larger scale than any other metro in the country combined. The Metallica mishap came in an unfortunate series of events that is more of an isolated incident than routine and the culprits have been brought to task. True that such follies being committed in a Pandit Ravi Shankar concert or a ‘Daler Mehendi Live’ is less imaginable and a band like Metallica is but once in a lifetime opportunity. For all such reasons, the sentiments of the crowd are more understandable than the excuses made by the management. <o:p></o:p><br />
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*All images are under the copyright ownership of <a href="http://www.zabeehafaque.blogspot.com/">Zabeeh Afaque</a>. </div></div>the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-30242995758299286972011-10-03T03:42:00.000-07:002011-10-03T04:13:17.728-07:00Why I don't "make peace"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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~ Not because I wasn't born during war or post a battle victory.<br />
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~ Not because my parents came from a hippie culture and generation that came ten years too late to the North East.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Right is the Daddyster! </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC79JcLQtu6zsj-xmMDqiTEkQVo_YjT14T3p81ZoRtvefbToxN9K5f1JS6CSEPsE8PiftZnoibj5Ny-T_YzfbZ9t7kiyv6ZXJ8yn-w44I4hhjVYyKr2HCDK-git9rBy5jApxxKftFwCg9H/s1600/30851_10150171160010015_518830014_12329893_1932988_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhC79JcLQtu6zsj-xmMDqiTEkQVo_YjT14T3p81ZoRtvefbToxN9K5f1JS6CSEPsE8PiftZnoibj5Ny-T_YzfbZ9t7kiyv6ZXJ8yn-w44I4hhjVYyKr2HCDK-git9rBy5jApxxKftFwCg9H/s400/30851_10150171160010015_518830014_12329893_1932988_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My mom was a pothead! </td></tr>
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~ Not because my name wasn't even remotely thought of as courtesy to Sir William Makepeace Thackeray.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbx-pXedf_iECZMinTgv4pNXzNRZ1QzNhPQKvEgdzpbtgbmfwoEm9wBoy16k4sXz7CJsCm2Z0qrzfOlNgHLWczko0jZjz9kOcnF_7EDTI4WUmKayQQR2cepmPtLLUr1zN9HVcg1K6MSnpV/s1600/william-makepeace-thackeray.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="333" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbx-pXedf_iECZMinTgv4pNXzNRZ1QzNhPQKvEgdzpbtgbmfwoEm9wBoy16k4sXz7CJsCm2Z0qrzfOlNgHLWczko0jZjz9kOcnF_7EDTI4WUmKayQQR2cepmPtLLUr1zN9HVcg1K6MSnpV/s400/william-makepeace-thackeray.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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~ Not because my name came from a TV sitcom<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggO4xIGbyl_CrRFOJXFQInDeKU39ZFSq1656fBMdKGMhgQuMmfmk3d_lakp38ANaH5eFJlwlhsXfL77LGqr0f1A-WrceFUCkit5rCZ98GuP4-Rx07Ar5bBxAwOs4LJdiaY-PzfJ5k49Awa/s1600/Dempsey_and_Makepeace__1985_big_poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggO4xIGbyl_CrRFOJXFQInDeKU39ZFSq1656fBMdKGMhgQuMmfmk3d_lakp38ANaH5eFJlwlhsXfL77LGqr0f1A-WrceFUCkit5rCZ98GuP4-Rx07Ar5bBxAwOs4LJdiaY-PzfJ5k49Awa/s640/Dempsey_and_Makepeace__1985_big_poster.jpg" width="360" /></a></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/CFfFuwd5L5c" width="420"></iframe></div>
<br />
~ Not because my parents thought the female detective's character, Makepeace (surname) was cool (Just like in the 90's & in my tweens, I thought Buffy was cool! Thank God, I didn't have a baby then).<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE2Sqrb48aKCeav_EmSQ1ZdRCMqn32AaHZY5Q1-eCsOhEFj0XputrACboH9P0tFwmgDkGBtmI_lfvLSaP-TWqasaZBGh5IHVKlvrbzRvpdDbbgkR8HIWOhEPMNWqEaFXupq3C2hUcjUVSv/s1600/ss2332980_-_photograph_of_glynis_barber_dempsey_%2526_makepeace_available_in_4_sizes_framed_or_unframed_buy_now_at_starstills__31086_zoom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE2Sqrb48aKCeav_EmSQ1ZdRCMqn32AaHZY5Q1-eCsOhEFj0XputrACboH9P0tFwmgDkGBtmI_lfvLSaP-TWqasaZBGh5IHVKlvrbzRvpdDbbgkR8HIWOhEPMNWqEaFXupq3C2hUcjUVSv/s400/ss2332980_-_photograph_of_glynis_barber_dempsey_%2526_makepeace_available_in_4_sizes_framed_or_unframed_buy_now_at_starstills__31086_zoom.jpg" width="318" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Badass Makepeace! </td></tr>
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<br />
~ Not because my name comes from a very old lineage of the <a href="http://makepeace.net/">English surname</a>.<br />
<br />
~ Not because my name has been murdered on more than several occasions that I sometimes almost wish that I was called Jo and alternately, Yo!<br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Make piece</li>
<li>Make peace (who the fuck gave the space in between in the first place?)</li>
<li>Cake piece</li>
<li>Maybe</li>
<li>Mouth piece</li>
<li>Magpie</li>
<li>Maggie</li>
<li>Make believe</li>
<li>Make love</li>
<li>Make war</li>
</ul>
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<br />
~ Not at all because I get such results when I google my name (without the space, you genius!)<br />
<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>A <b>non profit</b> by my name - <a href="http://www.makepeace.org/">http://www.makepeace.org/</a>. Shouldn't I be their rightful brand ambassador?</li>
<li>An <b>island </b>by my name - <a href="http://makepeaceisland.com/">http://makepeaceisland.com/</a>. They charge some 8000 dollars per night as rent. Part of it should come to me as royalty at least. Also, it is heart shaped & that definitely says something about me.</li>
<li>A <b>band </b>called <a href="https://www.facebook.com/makepeacebrothers?sk=videos">The Makepeace Brothers</a>, who play roots based rock.</li>
<li><a href="http://www.makepeacetotalpackage.com/">http://www.makepeacetotalpackage.com/</a> (url name says it all!)</li>
</ul>
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<br />
~ Especially because people presume I'd be soft spoken owing to my name. <br />
<br />
...only because I do as and when I feel like and don't always make it apparent!<br />
<br />
<b>Disclaimer</b>: No, I'm not obssessed with my name. People are always very intrigued by it just like I am with the Parsi surname Sodabottleopenerwala. This post is just to put their queries and sometimes, wild imaginations to rest.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqhQpW-3blget3fan3044YdYzrpJbEY2vEX3yC4EAot9rkeMCatuWpQ7U1rB7p3uIbZ6KHbJC6YkzJ0Fxz8jkir5z8TVYC35QAQy_SOp88cH8cix6VAqCuGXmZXUBI_cvRSyXw2vNeElbR/s1600/gbpic01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqhQpW-3blget3fan3044YdYzrpJbEY2vEX3yC4EAot9rkeMCatuWpQ7U1rB7p3uIbZ6KHbJC6YkzJ0Fxz8jkir5z8TVYC35QAQy_SOp88cH8cix6VAqCuGXmZXUBI_cvRSyXw2vNeElbR/s400/gbpic01.jpg" width="361" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">At Last: Dempsey & Makepeace in real life hooked up & got hitched & remain so till today. Yes, you Bones/Castle fans can be optimistic after all! </td></tr>
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the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-54431767033473367012011-10-03T01:24:00.000-07:002011-10-03T03:06:53.557-07:00The Introspective Sabatical<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Okay, so I might just be too young to be taking one considering that I started working only just a year or so ago. It wasn't easy to let go, trust me. The nagging fear of seeming incompetent in today's day and age is much too much, which is precisely the reason why the world is spinning out of control. Taking time off JUST for yourself is usually either frowned upon as a selfish task or being clearly dysfunctional.<br />
<br />
It has taken me a week to fully give my vote of confidence to this decision without any regrets and make peace (don't say I never practise my name!) with the losses left behind.<br />
<br />
The moment when you're restrained off your duties, responsibilities and obligations to an entity, its only just a mental registration of that fact. Its a fact that you assimilate with all other kinds, related or unrelated, on a daily basis. But it takes a lot more physical and psychological, if not spiritual, detoxification from a habit, routine, role and most crucially, an identity. I'm beginning to appreciate the many twists and turns life took in the past couple of months and although they were filled with much testing, agony and led to some loss of faith, I'm glad for how they turned out. It might just be too early to say 'amen' but in a pattern it restored some faith to how the good old always say, "It will all turn out okay".<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ4Be-1jllPHNYP9buU5LgEo24wIgVXVRrzWlbfVJDCQepvJMQBefyQIGbQj7CRKyQItOw1VzJcyyMixSxDXWgoAqgWvnfkXyPccojplQVPBK6K-uU2NqtUvA9tGFppGdvbj0iJmsUu4gt/s1600/3707941955_0b77d66ece.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJ4Be-1jllPHNYP9buU5LgEo24wIgVXVRrzWlbfVJDCQepvJMQBefyQIGbQj7CRKyQItOw1VzJcyyMixSxDXWgoAqgWvnfkXyPccojplQVPBK6K-uU2NqtUvA9tGFppGdvbj0iJmsUu4gt/s320/3707941955_0b77d66ece.jpg" width="247" /></a></div>
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<br />
In my time "off", I have a list of things that'll keep me from being idle, hence, not giving the devil any time or space for the workshops, too many of which I've attended.<br />
<br />
~ I will continue to write on all the platforms I'm afforded and will plunge myself into newer angles, vision and post reflective assessments which certainly will not limit itself to social development or existential crisis.<br />
<br />
~ Learning my way around the kitchen is very high on my pursuit this month.<br />
<br />
~ Getting help for all the excess baggage (a lot which I'm aware of & a lot more that is elusive) that has been slowly eating at me and is responsible for a lot of misgivings and misbehaviour, even.<br />
<br />
~ Getting back to print! Got a scanty list of books lying about collecting dust but also reading literature that online publications can never really replace (so far in my imagination).<br />
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~ Goa. You know the rest :)<br />
<br />
~ Dancing. Improving technique, clarity and letting myself get lost in the beats and the music.<br />
<br />
~ I'm putting swimming and running here as well although they will follow my dominant interests of continuing to watch the tons of movies I do and occasionally cutting myself some slack as a couch potato.<br />
<br />
~ Most importantly, re-assessing my near future goals and priorities in life. To mentally prepare myself for <b>the big move</b> that I now need more than I desire and to understand in which order is work fulfilling for me and what I am gunning for - Money, fame, recognition, identity, experience, filling a void and/or whatever else one adds after the dots.<br />
<br />
To October! <br />
<br />
<br /></div>
the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-22905902184914091752011-09-07T11:41:00.000-07:002011-09-07T11:41:05.790-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
The title is adept to the movie’s post war setting in Berlin,
1945. In the crumbles of war, trauma and hopeful pursuits’ decease the
disillusioned lives of survivors while power politics is played between leaders
under the garb of peace conferences. And in between falls Lena (suavely played
by Cate Blanchett), the beautiful wife of a significantly wanted scientist,
Emiel Brandt, who is presumed dead by all blocs. Jacob Geismar (perhaps a
little less convincingly played by George Clooney) ,an American captain,
journalist and Lena’s old flame, arrives on his second deputation not expecting
to find her with his driver, a young and hot blooded corporal (Tobey Mc Guire).
As Geismar unabashedly seeks (longs for) her, the corporal’s body is unexpectedly
washed in. Only to Geismar’s curiosity, this murder means more than a mere
consequence of zonal trespassing that eventually unfolds to his estranged
lover, whose only goal is to survive while fulfilling a secret duty with her
irresistible aura as the only means to escape. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span>
</span>Stephen Soderbergh cuts a classic 40’s cinematographic piece coupled
with the old school background score to the full effect of nostalgic cinema.
And although it may take considerable cognitive effort to gather the story
together, it’s worth the rental on a lazy day or even for a collector’s
piece.<span> </span></div>
<br />
<!--[if !supportEmptyParas]-->Originally published in Traffic Life, a former magazine by <a href="http://www.twentyonwardsmedia.com/">Twenty Onwards Media Pvt. Ltd.</a> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p><br />
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the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-33302654185393913342011-09-01T12:43:00.000-07:002011-09-01T12:43:02.091-07:00Carrying All That Weight Around<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
I like to think I'm a <b>bohemian</b> artist in this generation of rat race and cut throat competition. That I'm 'Indie' and I'm only just competing with myself. Its true that it is me against myself in this world. That is, me and my ideas of being 'Bohemian' and 'Indie' versus the unresolved and perpetually stirred conflict within myself of the expectations I choose to adhere to and those I forego with high claims of individuality, principle and superior thought.<br />
<br />
No one said that the twenties are a period of existential homeostasis. Then <b>why the fuck </b>are people pretending it is? And why the fuck doesn't anyone tell you how ugly it was going to get and why won't most of us admit to it? What are people done experimenting life "so fully" in their teens that the twenties are all about resolving to some sedentary concept of a suburban life? Fuck you. You went around with every Adam and Eve that barked up your tree at 16 and now you're claiming settlement at effin' 23?<br />
<br />
Oh you go party every weekend with that safe & secure gang from your BBM, so its all good, eh? Fuck you! I agree that drinking is not the solution and that it makes you forget the question (which is just so 'effin awesome, I know!) but halt, you escapist! No, not from uninhibited drinking but believing that <i>izz alll goood</i> just 'cause you do that.<br />
<br />
And don't lament some other fellow's miseries just to make yourself feel a tad more secure from your own! Empathy is a dying trait of this generation and will only be referred to merely as figurative speech by the end of this century.<br />
<br />
Why am I so angry? Because I don't have what you do. That I don't project my imperfect life as going just as great as yours. Again, <b>fuck you</b>. No I don't but I'm not as angry about that as I am about all that is worth going outta the window and superficiality being the king of good times! </div>the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-22643574910067502562011-05-22T12:03:00.000-07:002011-05-22T12:15:32.329-07:00Ragini MMS (2011)<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">An ode to the guy I go to for an update and a better (funnier) insight on the genre of Horror movies, <a href="http://thehorrorclub.blogspot.com/">M'hael</a>.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><b>"Despite the repeated jump scares and the less than impressive CGI, this movie does somewhat pull Indian Horror outta the ol' rut"</b> </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEj6HUahWD7cbE-gT6249u4ns7kVGhyphenhyphen0zHZ31_8ZJ8in1Wp1HvNwD8iX9kg9znl5Yt3I2Lic_cnjK44FVdrjAUkdHga-DARhIPvJbqA3lzMQeTMNXD3jQ_8LMOhcJIQZE8epMQYd70FZLC/s1600/Watch-Ragini-MMS-Movie-Online.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEj6HUahWD7cbE-gT6249u4ns7kVGhyphenhyphen0zHZ31_8ZJ8in1Wp1HvNwD8iX9kg9znl5Yt3I2Lic_cnjK44FVdrjAUkdHga-DARhIPvJbqA3lzMQeTMNXD3jQ_8LMOhcJIQZE8epMQYd70FZLC/s320/Watch-Ragini-MMS-Movie-Online.jpg" width="222" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Sub-Genre:</span></b> Horror, Supernatural/Haunted House</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Cast Members of Note:</span></b> Kainaz Motivala (Wake Up Sid), Raj Kumar Yadav (Love, Sex Aur Dhoka) </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">What's it About? - A couple go out of town for a 'dirty' weekend (quite presumably) to a lonely, deserted house only to realize their little party will soon be thrashed by the spirit of a Marathi woman (who looked much like the stereotype of a Bombay Bai), accused of witchcraft and killed (assuming years back!) by neighbours (or was it family?) who believed she killed her own children. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Also, what Ragini doesn't know is that the house is set up with cameras everywhere including the bathrooms (where the cameras would blur her nether regions) and some dingy rooms where only action one can capture is rodents going anal on each other. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjrrgIRDkBoFq43wMaJXHEKF80qsreNwlut5dwWUAtdil0U7lzJ6DcBSia4QOkb5tGApbGS-HGdbgo96ebApRx7chkshpMFNPBtb16OE6Q9Ztoh4kTDfytMcLogSde1PBmfMAHuulF8bDj/s1600/Ragini-Mms-Movie-Stills.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjrrgIRDkBoFq43wMaJXHEKF80qsreNwlut5dwWUAtdil0U7lzJ6DcBSia4QOkb5tGApbGS-HGdbgo96ebApRx7chkshpMFNPBtb16OE6Q9Ztoh4kTDfytMcLogSde1PBmfMAHuulF8bDj/s1600/Ragini-Mms-Movie-Stills.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">All you get is prolonged first base. Yes, even them rodents do it hotter. Wonder why the Censor Board rated it A?</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: left;">After a few teasers, jump scares and Ragini's uninvited friends dropping in & also teasing the audience, followed a whole lot more teasers and jump scares. Even as Ragini and deutche bag boyfriend get down to "business" (For the BF, making both 'love' & 'quick cash'), they don't go as far as even groping each other, forget any clothes coming off. And no no, the ghost ain't to be blamed. If you can't get beyond first base in 10 mins and are still playing coy with the camera, well your prude ass deserves to be scared the shit out of. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRkBjjSB05bFBl6RFcVZejVK_wc1RliOSJRlE13utxrmorbaphrjrE8LKnGv41_YBhHYeHEbjA9ZtBGfu-I0g2vsXkXiqmClzlpxzgvbXLJr3v3qrXDJdtUfjUpnvufBpvc8UfTAI72Uuu/s1600/ragini_mms_movie_stills_10_05_11_01_31_011.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRkBjjSB05bFBl6RFcVZejVK_wc1RliOSJRlE13utxrmorbaphrjrE8LKnGv41_YBhHYeHEbjA9ZtBGfu-I0g2vsXkXiqmClzlpxzgvbXLJr3v3qrXDJdtUfjUpnvufBpvc8UfTAI72Uuu/s320/ragini_mms_movie_stills_10_05_11_01_31_011.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tsk...pussy! The BF i.e.! </td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: left;">*SPOILER ALERT* </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">The Good</span></b> - Pawan Kripalani didn't do a ham of a job with this one. He kept the audiences on the edge of their seats. Well he kept me on the edge of my palm covering my face. But then again, I scare too easily but get disturbed with that much more difficulty. There were some remarkable moments of creep when BF suddenly and randomly speaks in Marathi saying, "I am not a witch". It wasn't even a moment that was taken very seriously by the gf or the audience but had an insidious effect in setting the platform for the 'scare'. Although, the Marathi rambling of the spirit got a li'l too repetitive and comical eventually, the idea of a spirit rambling in regional language was quite clever and the words were deathly too. The actors have been highly praised for convincingly playing their parts and I wouldn't disagree too much. They were also quite unflinching in the exhibition of their sexual prowess, which is still very rare for Indian actors but for the old farts in the censor board and their 16th century concept of shame in sexuality.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b>The Bad</b></span> - Although the movie was a 'thrilling' experience of sorts for me, there were no take aways. There was so much more that the spirit could have done other than ramble Marathi, slap, move stuffs and nonsensically kill people. Indians have a long way to go with special effects amongst many other things. Since the spirit was a old Marathi woman, they could have had make up do more justice to her gory appearance than a CGI blur, which would have worked better if it was the spirit of a younger, well toned woman.<br />
Special effects aside Indian writers need to start being a little bit more imaginative than the tried, tested and even loved formula of '<i>purani haveli</i>', '<i>chudail</i>' and all such familiar keywords. Granted this movie was a first of its kind and wasn't as terrible as potentially anticipated by me but reinventing the wheel (read, Paranormal Activity, The Blair Witch Project) gets you no brownie points for originality, even though we're just habituated to rehashed stuffs now.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZYXgmUtFi8sKVcvV0SOTWgPQ8U7JV11Fc6GfkQ5EXSEuSlSjoddsKrl0vNsAIFuFasqP-jByLNzWQCwB0C-t5WQUek9_OmRcLBIxkqp_xDd-lKGuXIwOGQmC3qYY-jvPDwx78-M8TQ_zL/s1600/ragini-mms-movie-stills-photos-gallery-001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZYXgmUtFi8sKVcvV0SOTWgPQ8U7JV11Fc6GfkQ5EXSEuSlSjoddsKrl0vNsAIFuFasqP-jByLNzWQCwB0C-t5WQUek9_OmRcLBIxkqp_xDd-lKGuXIwOGQmC3qYY-jvPDwx78-M8TQ_zL/s320/ragini-mms-movie-stills-photos-gallery-001.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My friend Neha, who unlike me, was laughing her head off at the jump scares said, "My only takeaway from Ragini MMS is to never let a guy handcuff me" </td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">The Downright Horrendous</span></b> - Masochist Ms. Kapoor wanted to ensure the script had every opportune moment of a BC/MC expletive. And as parochial and imaginative she is, decided to draw up a character of an abusive and disrespectful boyfriend who, of course, trapped innocent li'l Ragini into his <i>pyaar ka jaal</i> (Now I know how it feels like to write for Delhi Times). Essentially, there isn't much of a difference between her soaps and movies only she gets to release a lot more libido in the latter, which is only as much as a finger bath for me. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">The Gory</span></b> - Again, so much scope for gore that was wasted because make up artists couldn't have done convincing jobs and a CGI would have just looked shoddy. The part when Ragini slits her wrist to lose free from the cuffs was good but then again she didn't go as far as amputating herself, which could have added gore substance to the movie. Imagine if she had only one hand to carry the cam with the other bleeding out. Yes, I'm sick but apparently that's what it takes to write good horror scripts.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">The Naked</span></b> - If the lack of boink boink in the movie will dissappoint you, you'd probably want to ask for at least half your money back since only as much as bra straps were coyly flashed for 2 seconds and tank top on! Dirty weekend indeed...spent on watching this movie! </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">What did we learn </span></b>? Again, don't let anyone handcuff you in a creepy ol' house in the middle of nowhere. This can't go the right way even without a supernatural presence. </div><div style="text-align: left;">Also, if you're a South Bombay/Delhi bred, there are more varieties of bad boys out there than the "West Delhi, 'Jat Boy' sticker on the car shield" kinds. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b>Makepeace says:</b></span> B-</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"> The B for trumping over the contemporary history of bad Hindi horror movies like Vaastu Shastra, Hawa, Bhoot or even the competition, Haunted 3D and its attempt to be creepy. The negative marking for still repeating the same ol' mistakes and for the nth time I will say it, the friggin' jump scares. Its not a good horror movie if I didn't see most of the scenes because of my neuro-biological defence mechanism towards loud thuds and 'here and gone' appearances. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Final Thoughts:</span></b> (forced by practise and tradition)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hot?</td></tr>
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</div></div>the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-15112290544897289802011-05-06T13:38:00.000-07:002011-05-06T13:51:44.416-07:00Building Castles in the Air: First Date<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDw7cmurIjqkoiacD3WKzhUGjbcWgw8QY-k2eejug64HRP7ap_9Xs2FYq0vgDVzrZPOCfDqaKvK-IeBHF8QR38pNcb6IE2CitJtTjMvS6AYAI5uxqCzEuZzGTZ3fvwHPXox2j7ytnG58NP/s1600/loveBubbles.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDw7cmurIjqkoiacD3WKzhUGjbcWgw8QY-k2eejug64HRP7ap_9Xs2FYq0vgDVzrZPOCfDqaKvK-IeBHF8QR38pNcb6IE2CitJtTjMvS6AYAI5uxqCzEuZzGTZ3fvwHPXox2j7ytnG58NP/s320/loveBubbles.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
<br />
On our first date, we would go to a park. Minus any blanket or lunch baskets. Just our cameras, curiosity (mostly about each other) and excitement to shoot the outdoors. I would be dressed something like this...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAT6IRZnMK2GAzadgNg4TqO0yMkeYnMb27Y4-eQJVd5JNOT1fQMUIwN-G3t6qBUT9DZVhcT6sEpWW_bhCKNcc5eqRate5-xM6tuCTFNMOSKGA-9N1lms8oXlZh8zAPM0Ra2RudVid1Nnm3/s1600/1094054_5666lb.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="284" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAT6IRZnMK2GAzadgNg4TqO0yMkeYnMb27Y4-eQJVd5JNOT1fQMUIwN-G3t6qBUT9DZVhcT6sEpWW_bhCKNcc5eqRate5-xM6tuCTFNMOSKGA-9N1lms8oXlZh8zAPM0Ra2RudVid1Nnm3/s320/1094054_5666lb.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
What he wore, wouldn't really matter much to either of us. Not that what I wore would but it'd be as delightful as sugar flour sprinkled on doughnuts.<br />
<br />
We'd be on our own trips to click what we individually felt like. We'd share. We'd experiment. We might even compete. But not to do out do the other. Fine, I might have a tad bit of the streak but I'd be humbled by his acceptance...not of defeat but of my idiosyncrasies.<br />
<br />
We might hold hands. Almost accidentally without either particularly intending to do so. Our hands would brush each others' a lot. What felt from it would defeat our game plays or power politics.<br />
<br />
We'd horse around a lot. Not the 'watch out for the tickling monster' variety. Just let go of social inhibitions. Strike silly poses. Push our own limits of acting child like only to appreciate that side of us more.<br />
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Naturally we'd click each other a lot; in moments when either one was too busy clicking something else. Neither of us would feel too beautiful to pose for a fancy photo shoot. But we'd be comfortable in each others company to make silly faces and trust that they would be framed well.<br />
<br />
We'd lie on the grass. Click the skies, the trees, our horizontal portfolios. We'd hopefully find a cafe nearby. We'd choose to sit outdoors. Light a smoke, at least I would. Preferably, there'd be a slight nip in the air to enjoy the steam from our coffee and the warmth of our bodies leaning over to make discrete fun of the families sitting close by or that distant couples' matched clothes.<br />
<br />
We'd fiddle with each others' fingers. He'd gaze deeply at me. I'd just feel more awkward than shy and gaze away at the clouds or anything a distance away. I'd end up asking hypothetical questions. He'd answer playfully. I'd make fun of his responses. I'd be caught in a strange dichotomy of feeling conscious (even shy at this point) yet wishing the day wouldn't end. Ideally, he'd sense it all and play along and shoot me some silly, hypothetical questions. I'd whip out my camera by now to shoot people in the cafe. He'd use his to take some scenic shots.<br />
<br />
It starts to get dark and we'd decide to also dine there for supper. But first, we'd get us some affordable (not cheap, though) wine. He might ponder over a beer but I'd insist we share the wine, both for the connection and to split the costs. Mood would set in soon after.<br />
<br />
I'd open up to my 'wilder' side. I'd begin flirting slightly more shamelessly. He might blush or be endeared by my mood switch. I'd become bolder with every sip from the glass and before I'd consciously realize, my right foot will not be on the floor any longer. We'd definitely be clutching our hands at this point. But he's also hungry. I wouldn't insist on anything in particular so ask him to order the main course but insist on doing the same with the desert. He will oblige (if he knew any better for himself). I'd feel a li'l (or a lot) wet by now.<br />
<br />
We'd share our food. No one would dare or even think to feed the other. None of us would want either to be eating out of their hands. Definitely, not at this point. But we'd pick each others' food liberally and especially enjoy doing that.<br />
<br />
After settling our accounts fair and square, we'd take the auto to my place. He SHOULD make the bold step to lean over and kiss me. We make out with the air blowing on our faces. I'd play with his hair a lot. He'd be gentle throughout. His hands would scurry about my dress, wanting to feel the obvious. That would only get me more excited. Auto driver would be unresentful of it all yet careful only to steal a few glances from his rear view and not stop and stare.<br />
<br />
Auto gradually makes a stop. So do we. I'd have the broadest smile on my face and feel like not a care in the world about the serious public display of affection I just indulged in.<br />
<br />
I'd walk inside my home and my phone buzz and I'd read, "Thank you for coming with me". </div>the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-51987763842511931152011-04-29T22:20:00.000-07:002011-04-29T22:20:26.619-07:00Take a Bow...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">or well, just simply applaud. If nothing else, it wouldn't kill you to check if I have it in on my <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/makepeacesitlhou/">Flickr</a> photostream.<br />
<br />
For about a very short while, I have been enticed with the idea of pursuing photography as a serious hobby. 'Serious' denotes that I would heavily invest my time and resources into it but at the end of the day, it'd remain a hobby, not a professional priority.<br />
<br />
Needless to say, its an expensive hobby. I'm sure I'm going to be investing a lot of my money (that should ideally go into this 'savings plan' for the BIG MOVE) on buying further requirements like lenses.<br />
<br />
But from my trip to Leh/Ladakh, what I also realized was how much work it is in a day for an 'average' photographer. Especially, if you're using a DSLR and that too, Canon. So many changes and shifts in settings and modes to customize to the lighting, framing, angle, shooting etc. etc. I remember my hands were aching at the end of the day and my right eye being a li'l blurry in vision.<br />
<br />
Moreover, the frustration that can come with it when your hands ache, your eyes are sore and you have like a 1000 odd pictures (and not even enough memory space for it!), and you just HATE all your pictures. Maybe one odd two could be a little consoling.<br />
<br />
Nevertheless, the whole experience has been very fulfilling and one of growth as a person and as an artistic skill. I always tend to come up with these high flying plans for myself (just because I don't have a life otherwise!). Shooting street fashion was my less than humble, ambitious plan. It still is. I really don't think I can just as yet define what's 'my thing' as a photographer. Right now, I'm willing to shoot anything and everything from a cat licking its paws to stills of really random objects like 3 pin multi plugs. But I look forward to knowing what my thing is and its going to be such an exciting journey.<br />
<br />
I'm not sure of how much potential and therefore, use will I be but I'd like to do pro bono photography. There really hasn't been anything so far that I was good at and willing to do for free (I'm not good at too many things so I like to hoard them for maximum gain!). Always went by the wise words, "If you'r good at something, never do it for free". But the purity of and the joy in giving and the warm glow you feel inside is worth much more than a few extra bucks.<br />
<br />
So I take a bow to this amazing art, that is my new lease for life.<br />
<br />
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</div>the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-79846229000307913262011-04-08T02:28:00.000-07:002011-04-08T02:28:31.880-07:00Setting The Record "Straight"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">A message I received on Facebook today.<br />
<br />
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<div bindpoint="root" class="GBThreadMessageRow clearfix GBThreadMessageRow_Unread" style="border-top-color: rgb(221, 221, 221); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; display: block; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 8px; zoom: 1;"><div class="GBThreadMessageRow_Main"><div class="GBThreadMessageRow_Info" style="margin-bottom: 4px;"><span bindpoint="authorLinkWrapper" class="GBThreadMessageRow_AuthorLink_Wrapper" style="font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><a class="GBThreadMessageRow_AuthorLink" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001205022168" style="cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: yellow;">Nk Kishord</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"> </span></span><span class="GBThreadMessageRow_Date" style="color: #777777; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 4px;">April 8 at 1:23pm </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span bindpoint="branchLinkWrapper" class="GBThreadMessageRow_BranchLink"></span></span><span bindpoint="reportLinkWrapper" class="GBThreadMessageRow_ReportLink" style="color: #777777; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 4px;"><a class="action" href="http://www.facebook.com/ajax/report.php?content_type=9&cid=1920814055673&rid=100001205022168&h=AQA8By_NpsDceghC" rel="dialog" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">Report</a></span></div><div class="GBThreadMessageRow_Body" style="float: left; font-size: 13px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden; width: 400px;"><div class="GBThreadMessageRow_Body_Content" style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Read abt u in one of the mag- The Week if i remember correctly. Yr perception that people from north east are not welcome in other part of India - specially western part may not b entirely correct. i live in Mumbai and hv been seeing many from NE states working here happily. I hope u will change yr perception in times to come. by the way what is your NGO engaged in?? Best wishes -KISHOR</span></div><div class="GBThreadMessageRow_ReferrerLink" style="color: #777777; font-size: 9px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 10px;"></div><div class="GBThreadMessageRow_Body_Attachment" style="color: #333333; font-size: 11px;"></div></div></div></div><div bindpoint="root" class="GBThreadMessageRow clearfix" style="border-top-color: rgb(221, 221, 221); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; display: block; height: auto; margin-bottom: 8px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 8px; zoom: 1;"><div class="GBThreadMessageRow_Image" style="color: #333333; float: left; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; height: 50px; margin-right: 10px; position: relative; width: 50px;"></div><div class="GBThreadMessageRow_Main" style="text-align: left;"><div class="GBThreadMessageRow_Info" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 4px; text-align: left;"><span bindpoint="authorLinkWrapper" class="GBThreadMessageRow_AuthorLink_Wrapper" style="font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold;"><a class="GBThreadMessageRow_AuthorLink" href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=518830014" style="cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: yellow;">Makepeace Sitlhou</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"> </span></span><span class="GBThreadMessageRow_Date" style="color: #777777; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 4px;">April 8 at 2:33pm</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span bindpoint="branchLinkWrapper" class="GBThreadMessageRow_BranchLink"></span></span><span bindpoint="reportLinkWrapper" class="GBThreadMessageRow_ReportLink" style="color: #777777; font-size: 11px; margin-bottom: 4px;"></span></div><div class="GBThreadMessageRow_Body" style="float: left; overflow-x: hidden; overflow-y: hidden; width: 400px;"><div class="GBThreadMessageRow_Body_Content"><div style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">Hi!</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br />
</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><div style="text-align: justify;">Thank you for writing in. </div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><div style="text-align: justify;">The situation in Mumbai and South India is different from North. And I and my family have mostly only stayed in Northern parts of the country, in particular Delhi where we have been located for the past 10 years now. Because the north is closer home, it is also more accessible to North easterners hence there's a greater migration rate towards places like Delhi and Chandigarh then Bangalore or Mumbai (although there have been increasingly shifts). North India has a very ghetto attitude towards North Easterners in a way of not only discrimination in treatment but they also perceive us as soft targets. This in turn perpetuates a ghetto like collectivity amongst the north easterners who find it safer and familiar to stick with each other. Hence the bridge only becomes greater!</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><div style="text-align: justify;">People in the south, being a whole lot more civilized, are more accommodating and even friendly. Yet, I've seen mainlanders from there also rife with many stereotypes (which are limiting and unintentionally, even offensive) about us. </div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><div style="text-align: justify;">Nevertheless, it is really good to know that the perception is becoming a lot more friendly and familiar about us. I personally don't endorse north easterners to be lauded as 'victims' and the 'marginalized' continuously. It really doesn't help our cause and I think what would more automatically shun any over assuming mainlander, is by proving our worth doubly! It is no discrete fact that many communities from the north east are still very socio-economically backward and listed under ST/SC under the constituition. Having said this, I still don't think its just or fair for us to receive the treatment and the narrow description we have been dis-positioned with!</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><div style="text-align: justify;">Wow! You just brought out all my thoughts! :P</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><div style="text-align: justify;">regards,</div></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><div style="text-align: justify;">Makepeace.</div></span></span></div></div></div></div></div>the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-57675429600610455592011-04-05T12:04:00.000-07:002011-04-05T12:04:12.241-07:00Me lose weight? How about you lose some steam?!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-jescI4JOPTYYKBsCA_KH1xuEEqfRemZExg0mbYB3-C91816VSx91mViPVi07sFzP-jywCYvDI58luTwCHjMq-Bou1OzNI2fkPfjd3luDRWQVAnnbbdBglK5e8Yu7RE5dZaXl1apfVd_5/s1600/1882556.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-jescI4JOPTYYKBsCA_KH1xuEEqfRemZExg0mbYB3-C91816VSx91mViPVi07sFzP-jywCYvDI58luTwCHjMq-Bou1OzNI2fkPfjd3luDRWQVAnnbbdBglK5e8Yu7RE5dZaXl1apfVd_5/s320/1882556.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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I really meant to get down tonight to writing a book review. But instead I'm just gonna be doing a review of our times and culture today. An article on women and their weight obsession, so appropriately titled <a href="http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/diet_and_fitness/article2941491.ece">'The Big Issue'</a> by Shane Watson, got my attention and concentration in a focussed manner from the flying rages of frustration and resentment it has been infesting in my head for so long now.<br />
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Since about 6 years now, I've been constantly nagged by my parents and relatives to, "GO LOSE SOME WEIGHT!". The way they put it, you would think it was a pound of apples that I could just drop down somewhere. Relatives have an infamous reputation for poking their noses in place where its really none of their business. They've always had one bone or the other to pick with me and luckily enough for them, this bone became their livelihood.<br />
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No, I'm not such a repressed person to only find the space in a blog to vent and diss my relatives but especially after reading the linked article, a lot of dots started connecting.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 11px;"></span><br />
<div style="line-height: 1.2em; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-top: 0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">There is a lot of confusion about this weight fascism. We blame fashion. We blame models. We blame ageism and advertising and celebrity. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: orange;">But who stands to gain from ostracising women because they are too curvaceous or too thin? Other women</span>, that’s who: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="background-color: orange;">women who mistrust their own sex and who lack confidence in themselves</span>"</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">.</span></i></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The women in my family - lovely as they are, charming as they can be - are not really the most progressive of their times. Mind you, they are made of steel but only so rigidly moulded in a socio-economically backward society's stereotypical roles and expectations. I, the darkest sheep in this herd, turned out different - in some advantaged ways that are glorified and many other ill fitting ways that are collectively </span>abhorred<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">. You guessed the latter! </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It sounds condescending but I realized that for all the times I felt judged and so cruelly evaluated, they were balancing off the remarks I get of being 'smart' and 'ambitious'. For everytime that I'm a hard working girl focussed with her goals, I'm a fat 'no looker' who's going to have a tough time pleasing (or even getting) a husband 'coz I wouldn't cook for him. Because they're dolled up as Barbie now but will not be after two kids and hence, must find their Ken (or someone who comes even an inch closer) 'coz they couldn't rely on their own worn out potential for enough of life's luxuries. This is exactly how women are pitted against each other. While they think I have excess meat oozing out of my buttons, I think all their meat went to their heads!</span><br />
<br />
Nigella is right! Men don't pull these on you (save the "Your Momma So Fat" jokes), although I know a few who do exceptionally care a little bit more. But I also know a lot of smart, intelligent (and as beautiful) women for whom its not the defining identity. My rant also connects well with Nigella when she says,<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"P<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;">erhaps this is all about how we define ourselves as women. Should we be at home, baking cakes? Should we be binding our pregnancy bumps in the boardroom? If we can turn all our anxieties about how we should be living our lives into a fight about our size, then maybe that is our way of coping".</span></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span></i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;">I believe I've come from a place of inherent feminism but don't swarm a world where it is a natural disposition. So I pride myself over having fought against a lot of odds yet this is still something I need to overcome as a woman. To synthesize my feelings with what I believe i.e. to not beat up myself over not being a certain size I'm told I should be. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"In the fat camp are those who represent the forces of goodness and womanliness, or indulgence and ill discipline, depending on where you stand on the scales; in the skinny camp are the savvy, fit, modern girls, or the life-deniers – if you’re not so thin yourself. The size you are is a statement of your entire life philosophy, and the gulf between the two camps is filled with fear and misunderstanding. It is war, ladies, and it is our war. We are making enemies of each other on the basis of body shape".</i></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;">Ladies, lets grow up from these 'girly' battles of skinny bitches vs. fat cow!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTpoHWO91lcPO0oM3H-P93wnHOXnBv7yyT_c-kyArhR2S8R9VA6trayoHUJK5BCDnyefSQaGIW6h0o3jfXnijdxIGCQ2_g66yc3_Yajv3AqlLzC-fXBKHw-_7_KPZk_wGr0Qms4hnzfCgS/s1600/NigellaLawson5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTpoHWO91lcPO0oM3H-P93wnHOXnBv7yyT_c-kyArhR2S8R9VA6trayoHUJK5BCDnyefSQaGIW6h0o3jfXnijdxIGCQ2_g66yc3_Yajv3AqlLzC-fXBKHw-_7_KPZk_wGr0Qms4hnzfCgS/s320/NigellaLawson5.jpg" width="251" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 16px;">What's beautiful is beautiful, whether or not perfect. </span></div></div>the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-87498875367547119332010-12-19T09:21:00.000-08:002010-12-19T09:21:23.719-08:00The challenges of being a straight 'feminist'The title of this new set of rant and rambling is not to suggest that most or a lot of feminists are gay or as they are offensively called 'Dyke'. But I will, nonetheless, purport that being the two together can really <s>challenge</s> handicap your personal life & the chances of romance in it.<br />
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I believe the contemporary world is actually much more archaic than we are led to believe or would like to believe. And when I say archaic, I quite obviously refer to the pillars of patriarchy holding a firm control over everything that gets decided or in the way things are concluded. Hence, essentially we are the socialized products ergo victims of the 'archaic patriarchal' processes.<br />
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Let me clear here that feminism does not interpret itself to hating 'man'kind. In fact, feminism is a lot similar to anarchy which is all about sticking it up to 'the man'. Feminism is, simply put, about egalitarianism. However, because of the way we've been socialized ergo victimized, the idea of a man and a woman on an equal pedestal or their roles being flexible from what it used to be or as naturalists argue, "what it was designed to be in the first place', is just so insufferable to 'the system' i.e. of course the invention of man alone.<br />
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Get the picture? That most guys I talk this kind of shit to would just take on their heels and dash. Men only seem to want women who titillate them, live out their (highly socialized and misconstrued) fantasies and claim no more than what they are 'originally' entitled to. I don't know of too many men who'd like a counterpart that challenges them or forces them to think beyond the given. Maybe its coz men are privileged enough (as socialized) to be born in the gender and that the world is at their feet leaving them nothing more to strive for. <br />
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As strong headed I come off in these writings, I am actually a very chilled out person. I don't have too many demands especially not the petty ones like, "Why didn't you call me to say goodnight?". But I've realized men don't mind these kind of petty demands. They'll get you the chocolates, the teddy bears and you can enslave them to a world of material requests. But where it really counts (for women like myself) to assert or ask to be treated with respect, perhaps equality, they tend to take it personally i.e. on their masculinity a.k.a manhood. This only leaves you to be a....<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNpMCCCr603xh14VR_5hJOBqI4Xz9Ch-JVGUM7yrt0yVZrwSqa68PM4WqSaIQylEEdYmbWODdtVtvGmdK0ag3s6bH5R0jW5F5Yc7eZRFGaWNTsjVhfp0IXHm3m63bxkQk9YtHkVvn8XYTL/s1600/birdgildedcage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNpMCCCr603xh14VR_5hJOBqI4Xz9Ch-JVGUM7yrt0yVZrwSqa68PM4WqSaIQylEEdYmbWODdtVtvGmdK0ag3s6bH5R0jW5F5Yc7eZRFGaWNTsjVhfp0IXHm3m63bxkQk9YtHkVvn8XYTL/s320/birdgildedcage.jpg" width="235" /></a></div><br />
"Sensitivity. Empathy. Acceptance. Hey, that's what your gay friends are for!"<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNt1x1Ug4ieIRe7auKF48J6X2QaZvwQgqIwe_zcQrLrODUy_2mvUlowgC2r7sJZTIZyy0fIBBotreiwyyuiL9I9-P05MBvLck6Jf9ZuBeLF8-NRwuiGmQdOhgVTmVUmsWqHS4QiE_vivez/s1600/58391_10150242235480015_518830014_14403458_5440722_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNt1x1Ug4ieIRe7auKF48J6X2QaZvwQgqIwe_zcQrLrODUy_2mvUlowgC2r7sJZTIZyy0fIBBotreiwyyuiL9I9-P05MBvLck6Jf9ZuBeLF8-NRwuiGmQdOhgVTmVUmsWqHS4QiE_vivez/s320/58391_10150242235480015_518830014_14403458_5440722_n.jpg" width="216" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I used to have similar kind of conversations with a guy I dated </td></tr>
</tbody></table>No, this is not a male bashing exercise. If you have any sense at all, you'd be able to tell that I'm trying to highlight the dysfunctions of a system too stagnantly long in place. Men are not emotionless creatures. A lot of male bashing happens on this perceived pretext, which is another product of the patriarchal menace. But what is true about men is the sense of great denial they live in for the longest time. Its like a bubble they don't want to burst or a safety blanket they don't want to slip out of. So if you throw words like subjugation, misogynist or chauvinist at them, they would confidently and earnestly deny the charges. No guy wants to be 'the bad guy' but I think they sincerely don't know how or when they are being just that.<br />
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"If you have so many complaints with men and since there are no good ones out there, why don't you give women a shot?" This is a question often thrown my way and honestly I think its pretty offensive. It purports women as second choices to men and perpetuates the stereotypical belief that women turn to women only out of their frustration and scars with/from men.<br />
Also, do I really have to make such extreme choices in life? That I either have to settle for being the gilded bird or switch my orientation to feel loved, desired and appreciated?<br />
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Patriarchy is leaving this little faith in 'man'kind and giving so little credit to womenkind. Who the hell is profiting from this then?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-13184434438452527352010-12-11T12:34:00.000-08:002010-12-11T12:34:46.299-08:00All you need is loveAs the year is coming to a close, my habitual reflection on the events that occurred has already begun. It is all but normal to do that and I don't think I'm the only person who sits and wonders to judge whether or not this year has been good for her in terms of accomplishments, stability, excitement, adventures, love and general happiness.<br />
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I seem to have drawn a pattern from my year end evaluations where I believe that all my transition years have been difficult, even if rewarding and highly fulfilling. Well, I can't deny that as I grow older, life just gets tougher and the sooner I accept that the better it is for me. And really, the kind of person I am and given the age phase that I'm in, changes or transitions are not inevitable but also GOOD! Yet, one cannot disagree to say that transitioning phases have a unique sense of struggle to it, no matter what.<br />
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All in all, it has been going quite great! I'm finally out of the dreadful education system that I felt I was rotting in and feel that I'm living out the greater part of my potential out in the professional field. And though, I have tons of complaints while even being part of the action, I wouldn't wish to ever go back. Well, I wouldn't wish to go back on anything. Is that a sign of contentment?<br />
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I thought researching, documenting and analysing my quarter life crisis would help me to prepare myself for future surprises, bolts and hiccups well, which it has, but it hasn't resolved all the issues from the past, which is an unrealistic expectation to begin with. Events and instances helped me realize that I'm still carrying so much baggage from the past to the point that I've felt no better than I did when I was 16. The repercussions of this realization made me feel small, immature and inferior to many in my league and peer group. But since I'm in no pressing hurry to grow up, it also gave me a lot of breathing space to just be myself. Seeing a few friends marry and some others contemplate their long term commitments as potential nuptial ties, it just made me think how I am nowhere close to even being ready. There are those who think in a few years of 3-4 while others can't imagine any possibility due to the lack of a present prospect, I neither can put a time line to it nor can I guarantee I'll be able to if I find a stable companion. In fact, just the possibility of meeting a great guy (one who doesn't have unresolved baggage or act like a college kid) seems quite fantastical at this point. <br />
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I don't think I'm even a quarter of the woman that I can be or want to become. I think I've just begun to have a taste of life. I think I'm really still negotiating a lot of personal spaces in terms of relationship with my parents, the kind of girl I am, the kind of girlfriend I make etc. I'm just slowly sinking into responsibilities but the best part of it is that I'm choosing and creating those responsibilities instead of just accepting whatever's thrust my way (Of course, I do get a lot of flak for not easily succumbing to the latter).<br />
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What I've liked most from this year is how I've begun charting out my path in life and that for me is the most important. Surely doing something like this is not easy and is bound to be difficult when more so often you find yourself alone on your side versus everyone. Its been so difficult that at times I just have wished to be like everyone. Actually, I've wished that I was someone who'd do what everyone did in blissful ignorance. That way, I wouldn't have had to deal with most of my painful deviances. Its not that I'm trying to be different, its just that I am, involuntarily. Blind acceptance I have tried, very earnestly, and have failed apart from being miserable. Either way, I'm miserable. Might as well be while doing my own thing.<br />
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Here's to another year of being miserable my way!<br />
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P.S. Maybe what I can hope for the new year is to be loved more generously. I think I have been praised or appreciated in my moments but the love has been missing for a while. And its not JUST pampering and coddling that I refer to, although there's nothing that a soft, big kitty likes more than being hair brushed and warmly rubbed. No, I'm not suicidal. I do know that people love me but that's more like a cognitive awareness than an emotion I was made to feel. We all need to be made to feel special and loved in all display, gesture and touch. Is it too much to ask for without belittling me in judgement?the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-58717738424895338082010-10-30T00:12:00.000-07:002011-03-31T10:50:01.605-07:00You may win some but you always lose more<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijM79clzT8oba0gsei_oTQiMaSSwH_LYiE39r6ZNFCCofsul_X_GxV69Rnm70bKGYnW7ckHmR87mlz1GRu4AAfa4T-fdfblVuMqC_niPKaobpPTdOmzqHmZCGi15e2GbPQdZ-h6m5GpJAJ/s1600/OMH_Logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijM79clzT8oba0gsei_oTQiMaSSwH_LYiE39r6ZNFCCofsul_X_GxV69Rnm70bKGYnW7ckHmR87mlz1GRu4AAfa4T-fdfblVuMqC_niPKaobpPTdOmzqHmZCGi15e2GbPQdZ-h6m5GpJAJ/s320/OMH_Logo.jpg" width="318" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;">There’s always a price to pay for every privilege. Business travellers pay more and fly the same distance in luxury. Women have seats reserved in metros and buses, but are classified in the same category as children, the elderly and the disabled. Minorities do have seats reserved but practically no power to wield.</span><br />
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<div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoswsFKZOI2n0nnJwgl5YdINor9Vs6jVp1vV9lbiLHHwc-4ejaUvWH6i6_6Jd-Ft5QGpEd3Yx42ct-iABoT3VU6tw2mpS9QGZUpUnZtINkdT1P589uFZFJVOkAEDWV6LQAR-0ag0v1JlfP/s1600/homeFront.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoswsFKZOI2n0nnJwgl5YdINor9Vs6jVp1vV9lbiLHHwc-4ejaUvWH6i6_6Jd-Ft5QGpEd3Yx42ct-iABoT3VU6tw2mpS9QGZUpUnZtINkdT1P589uFZFJVOkAEDWV6LQAR-0ag0v1JlfP/s320/homeFront.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Caste in India is a socio-political issue, just like race in America or class in Britain. Yet ever since the decision on its inclusion in the ongoing census has been passed, the focus hasn’t shifted from political agendas, reservations and resource allocations to the discussion of its implications on our social structure. And in talking about caste in a social structure, it fits categorically under those who have ‘made it’ to the mainstream and those who ‘remain’ marginalized to the fringes of development.</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Standards of living have notably improved across sections of the society, sometimes even inequitably so. There is a significant group who may be registered as ‘constitutionally backward’ yet have more money to burn than the common man on Diwali. But this very segment of the society stands testimony to the fact that financial strength can only take one so far, not close enough to the milestones of adequate exposure and access to better standards of development.</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
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<div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigS9odAg0CN3ntuq2H43o_yeGURnBPGSeXqH70H3KM-ltNCYG74WVlhAdA8b0Y44Au9qXvTsGCiOgpPbnH86PPBBASzHN7OnAhDf_eXaWPgByszFnHSVCc0KzyU50rZ54p13W7-_5AArBb/s1600/jdin94l.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="308" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigS9odAg0CN3ntuq2H43o_yeGURnBPGSeXqH70H3KM-ltNCYG74WVlhAdA8b0Y44Au9qXvTsGCiOgpPbnH86PPBBASzHN7OnAhDf_eXaWPgByszFnHSVCc0KzyU50rZ54p13W7-_5AArBb/s400/jdin94l.jpg" width="400" /></span></a><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">A caste census practice could, therefore, move the needle on the development of these very segments who have thrown in the towel to relax under government schemes. But they cannot be easily dismissed as being unmotivated or lazy. Take the instance of Native Indians in America living under umpteen number of government welfare schemes like health care, education, employment, housing etc. Despite support, many live below the poverty line, are less educated, and geographically more isolated. <strong>There are many reasons for this but what’s apparent is that, as a race, they have been accorded no contemporary importance (or relevance) in modern day American society. </strong>Thanksgiving, as a tradition, is a persistent practical joke on how they were displaced from their land and authority. For those whose voices have been silenced for so long, it takes a while for them to become audible. </normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Thus, it’s not always just lack of ambition that limits them but how mainstream society perceives them. Cultural differences aside, different communities and castes grow up differently in lopsided socio-economic situations also because of an implicit hierarchical structure. Pre-independence, this structure being more explicit, it determined a person’s way of life. Now, even though caste is only one of the defining factors since individual merit counts, studies like those of Prof. Narasimhachary, a Senior Associate Fellow at the Oxford Centre for Vaishnava and Hindu, reaffirm that caste consciousness continues. Prof Narasimhachary’s study declares,<strong> “The implication to be of a high or low caste is a matter of innate quality or essence”.</strong> How far then is an individual removed from society?</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmF6HlalXltTArCiHtkR40Hjr9zUIAI3OHESafXOnCZxbkCqd-E-gIwdL7U7zixsnf2zXcVDVfTU9vvqL4jJFBmjxt9i2cria-RoJJvrfwvOG2pCuH6KLZu6Oml4V1fqLfZAGjCJLIp2_F/s1600/tn_cg4b54e4fc5f3980.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmF6HlalXltTArCiHtkR40Hjr9zUIAI3OHESafXOnCZxbkCqd-E-gIwdL7U7zixsnf2zXcVDVfTU9vvqL4jJFBmjxt9i2cria-RoJJvrfwvOG2pCuH6KLZu6Oml4V1fqLfZAGjCJLIp2_F/s320/tn_cg4b54e4fc5f3980.jpg" width="320" /></span></a><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">I think the mainstream and the marginalized fall into patterns all over the world: the mainstream, who dominate society’s mannerisms and for whom it is convenient to overlook injustices and dirty loopholes; and the marginalized, who are hyper vigilant about gestures and nuances of behaviour towards them only because they are never made to feel ‘normal’. From a grim perspective, it’s kind of like being branded with the yellow ‘Star of David’.</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
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</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">From a personal stand, I’ve used the reservation system to my own advantage, without coming from a downtrodden situation for which it’s supposedly meant. It has been responsible for some lack of competitive grit in me as I have been entitled to the same, perhaps even more, than those who had more merit on their profile. <strong>But make no bones about it when I say I’ve been judged, exposed and humiliated on the sole basis of my background.</strong> Reservations were never meant to be leftovers to toss to the helpless but as a means for diversity to infuse the mainstream.</normal><br />
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</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFA2sK7P8fyMbbSWxxCDHvZv4uBy872jNgAHAjEZWJf1jEMni4I0BJ8nYlVhZBSxRjkE-3whBF-k63o7970Skq-LVdy9hDOOw7l-oG3y3wSK87-IgudzGM9mX-txTMrGZTBiH5ta5BnQFx/s1600/610x.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFA2sK7P8fyMbbSWxxCDHvZv4uBy872jNgAHAjEZWJf1jEMni4I0BJ8nYlVhZBSxRjkE-3whBF-k63o7970Skq-LVdy9hDOOw7l-oG3y3wSK87-IgudzGM9mX-txTMrGZTBiH5ta5BnQFx/s320/610x.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">In a recent job interview with a noted social activist, I was briefed about a less than desirable grammar in my compositions despite being a published and well appraised writer. I had been called only to be ‘given a chance’ so that I could make her office “colourful” as I represented, and I quote, “those who came from the far flung regions of our big country”. I wondered if this is a price I will perpetually pay for coming from where I do. Where is the fairness in this and what would be fair, after all?</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">These are questions that have no easy answers or direct solutions. And these questions are always hotly debated with vested political interests. Inclusion of caste in the ongoing census is neither a solution to the problem nor the problem itself. Neither is caste the problem and the differences caused by it. It is the attitude towards this diversity that makes all the difference in the socio-economic food chain.</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><em><strong>“Imagine all the people…sharing all the world”</strong></em></normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
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<em>For a good comprehensive overview of the caste system, the author recommends the summary of Professor M. Narasimhachary’s lecture in the IK Foundation Lecture series, <a href="http://www.ikfoundation.org.uk/eventfiles/IK%20Lecture%203%20Summary%20NSA%20oct02.pdf">‘Indian Culture in the Modern World’</a>. </em></normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><em><br />
</em></normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Originally published on 30th September, 2010 in <a href="http://thealternative.in/articles/you-may-win-some-but-you-always-lose-more">The Alternative</a>. </normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><em><br />
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</i></span></span></div>the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-73210569210697090512010-10-30T00:06:00.000-07:002011-03-31T10:50:13.052-07:00Ring a bell, end the fight!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1h_UaPJlhY"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnSzye8XyiLmnnBKhBhpGhfe7I8W9ucYUGKpYA6b-MaEvUTGy48FOyZjADwlNpE0uUm6iSk9qTk5paSYQl0LabojTD992FZzvIZgHTu9fbddez_vmE0c7SMj6yAuTBa7WA2LJpuhZtz-RP/s320/cricket3.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;">A UN report points out that one incident of violence in India translates to the victim losing seven working days. The report further says that violence against women puts a huge strain on the nation's social and legal services. Unfortunately,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;"><strong>domestic violence</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;">is a part of every day, even accepted, reality in various households. For reasons of shame and family honour, many cases of domestic violence go unreported.</span><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><strong>Breakthrough (India)</strong> has been working on the issue of violence against women since its inception in 2000. With the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act (PWDVA) coming into force in 2005, they began discussing its implementation using mass media and mobilization as strategic tools. “We really wanted to create a campaign where we ask….here is a legal response, what about the social response?” notes Sonali Khan, the Country Director of Breakthrough.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Prior to the present decade of media campaigns, Mallika Dutt, Founder & CEO, recalls, “I have always felt that the language used in the human rights world does not reach the kind of wide-ranging audiences necessary to produce real change. A global conversation about human rights involves everyone--not just the usual suspects in the NGO circuit. I began questioning how to use more mainstream strategies to engage different people in conversation with accessible tools that really speak to their values.”</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Their first successful experiment was "<em><strong>Mann ke Manjeere</strong></em>" - a music album on domestic violence starring Shubha Mudgal - which generated a lot of media coverage and reached huge audiences. Then came <strong><em>Bell Bajao</em></strong> – a social media campaign that urged people to “ring the bell” and bring domestic violence to a halt.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">The highly popular campaign that aired on Doordarshan, private TV and radio channels, reached more than 130 million people and won prominent awards like the Gold for Best Integrated Campaign 2008 at the Goafest Abby Awards; the most recent one being the prestigious Silver Lion in the Film Category at the Cannes Lions 57th International Advertising Festival.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Did the unique media messaging strategy work? Urvashi Gandhi, Manager of the Community Leadership Program says, “Each case of domestic violence is very specific. You cannot apply one situation, copy paste it and put it on to the other. When people look for solutions and options to come out of it, they are looking for specific information. <strong>Media campaigns are just for sensitizing and creating awareness.</strong>”</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">To further the reach of the campaign, video vans travelled to different towns and districts in Karnataka, Uttar Pradesh and Maharashtra. The video vans engaged the audience through games, interactive discussions and quizzes besides airing the ad campaigns done pro-bono by Ogilvy & Mather. Recently, popular Bangalore based folk rock band <strong><em>Swarathama</em></strong> performed with the video van in Puttur, Karnataka.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">It’s not just about the fun and games, clarifies Gandhi. The van is on a serious mission. “Lot of times there are queries and incidences of violence that people in the community would come and share with us. They ask us for information on what to do next”, she says.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">The real success of the Bell Bajao campaign is easily rooted to the rights advocates who spread the message in their communities and mobilize individuals. “In one of the villages in UP, where we had taken the van, they just said point blank that domestic violence does not happen in this village. <strong>So please take the van out of here, you’re spoiling our women.</strong> In cases like these, we have trained people from the area who try and get the word around by having unofficial, informal talks rather than going to them as a video van.”</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">The whirlwind of difference the training programs have made to these individuals’ attitudes and lives is touching in their testimonies.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><strong>Suresh</strong> has been a Breakthrough Advocate since 2007 and a more prolific human rights activist, participating in street plays and travelling with the video vans across Karnataka. While he’s done much to sensitize the world outside, change for him always has begun at home. Over the last few years he has started helping out his mother and sister-in-law with household work. On his brother’s wedding day, he sang a song that translates to something like, “<em>…the bride you’re marrying is just another person like you. You have to treat her as an equal. She also has a heart, she has aspirations. Don’t think you are marrying just a body. Beating up your wife is no indication of your masculinity. Don’t think of yourself as God and her as your slave…</em>”</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><strong>Hina</strong>, a student in Lucknow who underwent the training said that earlier she used to be a very shy person, who could never talk about condoms, sexuality etc. But now she feels comfortable and confident. One of her relatives was a victim of domestic violence and she was unable to take any action against this because neither she had confidence nor any legal knowledge. Hina educated her relative and extended support along with other trained volunteers.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">The campaign that has <strong>Boman Irani</strong> as its ambassador, looks at men as a part of the solution rather than as the problem. “<strong>Men can act as role models. It’s essential to engage them to act against violence for women in a more proactive and positive way which is not founded on guilt but more in terms of respect for women</strong>”, enumerates Khan.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">At the end of the day however, the campaign is benefitting more women than men. “Very interestingly more number of women are actually ringing the bell. Because if you think about it, it’s a safer way for women to intervene”, she adds.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">As a part of their 360 degree focus, in addition to digital mapping of resources, testimonials & video van routes of the PWDVA and a music video of Swarathama performing live with the video vans, they are pushing now to get more and more groups of people, influencers as well as gatekeepers, from the fashion industry to panchayats and the underprivileged to become a part of the campaign. “The word Bell Bajao has become very synonymous to taking action against what’s wrong” concludes Khan in a celebratory tone.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><strong>If this rings a bell for you, do ring a bell for someone else.</strong></normal><br />
<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><em>You can catch all the Bell Bajao ad campaigns on </em><em><a href="http://www.breakthrough.tv/" target="_blank">www.breakthrough.tv</a></em></normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><strong>Contacts:</strong></normal><br />
<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">contact@breakthrough.tv<br />
Web: www.bellbjao.org</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Originally posted on 11th August, 2010 in <a href="http://thealternative.in/articles/ring-a-bell-end-the-fight">The Alternative</a></normal></div>the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-24412841169906772092010-10-29T23:53:00.000-07:002011-03-31T10:50:19.056-07:00His honour to kill and her fate to die?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin-sU55EEtRW_ZOx1hdAXorSkW5Ho2Ff1nMlyCsxxhv_czFfD965g5jOV936u5LVFzerUlYB4KZ0RMPXI8jS2913JttAVwFMdca8TVZMBNsRbpynGiZILCIF-hoyLorqTScuNLROykfLOg/s1600/Honour-Killing+(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin-sU55EEtRW_ZOx1hdAXorSkW5Ho2Ff1nMlyCsxxhv_czFfD965g5jOV936u5LVFzerUlYB4KZ0RMPXI8jS2913JttAVwFMdca8TVZMBNsRbpynGiZILCIF-hoyLorqTScuNLROykfLOg/s400/Honour-Killing+(1).jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">We call our nation Bharat Mata, Dharti Maa. We worship many Goddesses. However, we revere them on conditions of ‘purity’ and ‘chastity’. </normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">This feminine idolization or idealization doesn’t quite settle. Economically we’re booming but culturally still misfits; not as per the norms of the ‘Great White Man’ but even by our own ‘Asiatic’ standards of adaptation in a global village and by universal standards of human rights.</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">The recent rise in reports of young men and women being murdered in the name of honour has been crucial in throwing light on a long continuing trend that the local law, for reasons of both corruption and tradition, have kept under wraps; and the urban educated had until recently become oblivious to.The exposure of honour crimes has been a serious reality check - barely 5 kilometers from the fringes of our flourishing cities thrives an alien culture.</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
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<div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><strong>Honour </strong>- A word that spells collectivism not only in definition but to a greater degree also patriarchal in an Indian context. Instances of women dying in the name of honour have been witnessed through history in a multitude of forms. The earliest that one recalls is the now abolished <strong>Sati</strong>, legitimately practiced pre-independence, when women threw themselves or were thrown in the funeral pyre of their husbands.</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">One shudders to recall the chaos of the <strong>India-Pakistan partition</strong> during which women’s bodies became the site of offense and defamation. Most female victims in the massacre died by their own hands. Urvashi Butalia, in her book ‘The Other Side of Silence’ which recounts survivor experiences of partition from a feminist perspective, talks about the status of women who willingly killed themselves to save their own or their family’s honour, and women who were abducted by mobs from either side of the border. Survivors, mostly male, emphasized the ‘heroic’ and ‘valorous’ aspects of these tragic deaths as she observes, “<strong>…while abducted women entered the realm of silence, women who were killed by families, or who took their own lives, entered the realm of martyrdom</strong>”.</normal><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinVHh9VW5vvaw4_p1r373rmn4jHEDvzKwYsJeA2Qz4qbMEbP9MhP8sT3Jdvsq6uXlJNxe8eBTeF5IDhnk2VvdhSXAUWVIOy6_bQOMBRroaZyPDKXzUlDYyQK59XyyAEliUC5ZfX-hZQtc9/s1600/khamosh-pani-silent-waters.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinVHh9VW5vvaw4_p1r373rmn4jHEDvzKwYsJeA2Qz4qbMEbP9MhP8sT3Jdvsq6uXlJNxe8eBTeF5IDhnk2VvdhSXAUWVIOy6_bQOMBRroaZyPDKXzUlDYyQK59XyyAEliUC5ZfX-hZQtc9/s400/khamosh-pani-silent-waters.jpg" width="300" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>A remarkable movie that dealt with the subject matter of women's sexuality subject to honour and violation during the India-Pakistan partition</b></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b><br />
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</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">What gets purported in the repeated incidence of such acts and society’s legitimate acceptance towards them is the psyche of the <strong>woman being the bearer of family honour</strong>, dictated by masculine prudence. It is not to say only women come under the knife or bullet for supposedly dishonoring their families. News reports show both lovers being slaughtered for committing the forbidden. On April 4, 2009 Reuters had reported the honor killing of four gay men in the Sadr city slum of Baghdad. Men, too, are paying an equal, if not heavier, price for patriarchy.</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Courtesy front pages and breaking news, honour killing has <strong>become the intellectual subject of a human rights debate</strong>. At this moment, however, more judgments are being passed where answers aren’t available, which is, again, a sad consequence of reportage. Speed trials and judgments deliver justice in time but do not prevent recurrence of the crime. More questions need to be raised, sensitively and sensibly. Only by addressing the issue from within will we be able to gauge more reasonably this culture of violence against women, something that the criminal justice system does insufficiently.</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKo_iR5OLKvzBH7wssu__amSNDDoeyTkm5ZfdlMVXcSXijf48R8Gz7ySodju4NzsuFLs0vslDDYIfkQgXhyphenhyphenDyRpnVCAjOz6JIhpcPH6egXNm8DOmvfC9ABiIx1_H6cmfAe7ktgmWi6Z7p8/s1600/honour-killing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKo_iR5OLKvzBH7wssu__amSNDDoeyTkm5ZfdlMVXcSXijf48R8Gz7ySodju4NzsuFLs0vslDDYIfkQgXhyphenhyphenDyRpnVCAjOz6JIhpcPH6egXNm8DOmvfC9ABiIx1_H6cmfAe7ktgmWi6Z7p8/s320/honour-killing.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
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<div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">In the contemporary scenario of honour killings, two fresh angles are being recorded. One - <strong>women are neither silent nor passive spectators in such incidences</strong>. The abhorrent case of Delhi based journalist Nirupama Pathak’s own mother doing the dirty job questions the theory of maternal instincts against all odds. In an interview to Association for Women’s Rights in Development (AWID), Rana Husseini, author of "Murder in the Name of Honor", on the role of women in honour killings said that they are usually divided into a) those who don’t have a say in the issue; if they stand up and speak, they might get killed themselves. That’s how they wind up as accomplices, b) others who really believe that the woman should be punished and that it will be a lesson to others in the family.</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"> The second focuses on the system of castes and communities <strong>like the Khap Panchayat who glorify such crimes as their moral duty in preserving the sanctity of their community.</strong> There are debatable theories of ‘sick societies’ and in situations like these, it’s a real struggle to draw a line between mental health and cultural sanction. Is it more disturbing to think that it was a collective stand or that it didn’t prick their conscience? Further, the question here is if conscience is embedded in morality, which is certainly more culturally defined, or independent from it.</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxn5TeycQbcMtuMsCGIPp-7KulzhfzVx1cp2IcncGPSlg0ny6gt71zgRkuZQOUGC_ICjKBLCVuoCQVlQ-MnApnTL31AD2zKJ6Ga86XnHtjTDEUIpfhblS55Cv6lVDO0u85EAFlyRSrWoEy/s1600/01slide3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="294" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxn5TeycQbcMtuMsCGIPp-7KulzhfzVx1cp2IcncGPSlg0ny6gt71zgRkuZQOUGC_ICjKBLCVuoCQVlQ-MnApnTL31AD2zKJ6Ga86XnHtjTDEUIpfhblS55Cv6lVDO0u85EAFlyRSrWoEy/s320/01slide3.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Writing for The Times of India, <strong>Madhu Kishwar</strong> sought to protect the rights of any community like the Khap Panchayat to, “insist on the right to decide for itself what aspects of tradition they wish to cherish and what they wish to discard or reform, provided its leaders can enforce community norms through democratic consensus”. </normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
Rightfully, such a negotiation must be worked out wherein a sensitive approach is taken, one which does not lambaste community norms and cultural sentiments nor puts caste adjudicators on such a high horse where they decide who lives or dies in shame or honor.</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">The highlight on the murder of the Delhi based journalist, Nirupama Pathak, who came from a family with an impressive educational profile, also forces us to identify the line that many Indians demarcate between ‘education for occupation’ and ‘tradition for living’. <strong>Are we essentially the same people from the period when Granths and Vedas were written, only with touch screen devices now to read them from?</strong> Isn’t ‘honour killing’ a practice no less cruel than Sati was?</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Northern states like Delhi, Punjab and Haryana have the fastest growing economic and social enterprises; <strong>yet the sex ratio remains abhorrently skewed. </strong>On the far end, although the <strong>eastern and north eastern states</strong> of the country continue to struggle with sufficient economic provisions, let alone investments; dowry death, rapes or <strong>honour killings were somehow never a part of their contemporary history.</strong> These places are yet to progress to a level that can provide more than the traditional opportunities for women, but they are not currently debarred from the existing options in occupation or education. Rather than looking west, some of these sex skewed states could more realistically emulate their own neighbours…their own brethren.</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">It is imperative here to understand two ideas in the context of integration. One, for the development of any state wherein infrastructural growth must accompany (or at least be followed by) cultural revolution or else the gap widens and development becomes like a hollow, empty barrel with a superficial crust. And the other is of national integration via communication and cultural exchange.</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><br />
</normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Despite the multitude of reasons and contexts in which honor killings take place, it should be repeatedly reminded that the supreme courts are above all local laws and cultural collectives and that <strong>the only exception to murder is self defense, not ‘honour’. </strong></normal></div><div style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; line-height: normal;"><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><strong><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0Gmb6rgPZUPlDoqLPZ09QFgTlMM-VscGXj76BDTbgjDuRNT1SYQY5prYcAlGyl6QN2V0FmcYEYHsTODNbsq9GDV1lYnlGJWe23kV1LLw-l5LKx7sBqy83lVm2JzZoAL7f9WcXhIhTuPO-/s1600/killing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0Gmb6rgPZUPlDoqLPZ09QFgTlMM-VscGXj76BDTbgjDuRNT1SYQY5prYcAlGyl6QN2V0FmcYEYHsTODNbsq9GDV1lYnlGJWe23kV1LLw-l5LKx7sBqy83lVm2JzZoAL7f9WcXhIhTuPO-/s400/killing.jpg" width="400" /></span></a></div><normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;"><strong><br />
</strong></normal></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;">Originally posted on 5th July, 2010 in <a href="http://thealternative.in/articles/his-honour-to-kill-and-her-fate-to-die">The Alternative </a></span></span></div>the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-19076625158015729412010-10-29T23:47:00.000-07:002011-03-31T10:50:30.587-07:00The continuing myth around ‘Sexuality Education’<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTeA3JTuz3MNIz3CPoKHmN60B8Z02_5VAnfO4nQbsWRf6k3eZO0UKE_Neh2GFeOjIIVvdFvGl_vgXpMEpdJvGkFePPsNpvyRIZx1HGHLblwY7rIjppi694m6g0iO9_TY-QKJSlQ7gkB0iI/s1600/2007-775-failing-sex-education.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="252" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTeA3JTuz3MNIz3CPoKHmN60B8Z02_5VAnfO4nQbsWRf6k3eZO0UKE_Neh2GFeOjIIVvdFvGl_vgXpMEpdJvGkFePPsNpvyRIZx1HGHLblwY7rIjppi694m6g0iO9_TY-QKJSlQ7gkB0iI/s320/2007-775-failing-sex-education.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;"><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;">I always find myself correcting people when they say, ‘Sex Education’, either implying (incorrectly) that it is about teaching children “how to have sex”. I don’t claim to know it all but I do claim the right to inform or be informed as much as I NEED and WANT to know. Our country will never move forward with this debate because our focus will eternally be on the</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;"><strong>content of the program and never its principles</strong></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px;">! I can only hope the succeeding words will make us think in the latter.</span><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Growing up, we’ve all grappled with understanding various aspects of our sexuality. Sometime after that was the confusion of distinguishing ‘sex’, ‘sexy’ & ‘sexual’ followed by flipping over semi-nudes in Cosmopolitan magazines with my cricket buddies in my supposedly tomboyish phase. Sure enough, I’ve come a long way from those days and the journey wasn’t smooth throughout. My parents were very liberal to bring up all kinds of topics that suited my age and understanding. Still, a lot of questions were unasked and unanswered, a lot of confusion and pain confessed in silence and a lot of memories repressed.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Yet many of us don’t feel the need to <strong>formalize sexuality</strong> as we feel that we all go through it and we all know, more or less, about the changes our bodies go through. The loophole in this argument is how commonly we don’t know <em>why</em> we go through what we do and <em>how</em> we live with it in a sense of secrecy, shame and embarrassment. In my growing years, I used to question if what I went through was ‘normal’. Did normal mean that it happened with other kids as well and therefore was ‘okay’?</normal><br />
<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Sexuality education is still such an under-researched and underestimated area despite the wealth of material available online. Courtesy Google, the privilege of information that the folks of yesteryears didn’t have ready access to, is now just a click away. The real reason, however, has been and always will be our own stunted beliefs and perceptions. One <strong>does not need to look beyond as much as within</strong> to understand sexuality.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Just how much importance is given to sexuality in the academic disciplines is illustrated in the curriculum of a Delhi University’s Master’s program in Psychology that includes whole chapters devoted to topics integral to development like language and emotions but none on sexuality. For psychology in India, sexuality only exists in adolescent studies and psychoanalysis, the latter within the grasps of only a limited intelligentsia.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">‘The Development of Sexuality’ was the topic I decided to make a presentation on during which I asked my professor and classmates their general understanding of the term. Predictable responses like, “a particular concern in the period of adolescence” or “how comfortably we deal with different things”, came to the fore. But the most remarkable response was from a meek girl who traveled to university from interior Haryana. “It’s natural?” she said, with only some confidence. It helped me realize that we not just misconstrue sexuality but also just how much a particular individual would know about it.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Places which have taken up the challenge of an active Sexuality Education Program are thrusting a lot of technical information on tough-to-interest children or adolescents in the most matter-of-fact form. These campaigners may have succeeded in including it in the curriculum. Yet in practice, it is nothing newer than Biology class or a reminder to kids of their moral education lessons. It is a subject matter that requires to be “taught” differently. <strong>What ‘Biology’ or ‘Anatomy’ objectifies as the human reproductive system, sexuality education humanizes with personal narratives.</strong>Such an insight of thoughts and beliefs shaped by varied experiences, exposure, cultural as well contextual norms, is amiss in the greater scheme of sexuality education.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">I got my first real opportunity as a ‘School Counselor Trainee’ in a school run for underprivileged children. Although I believed that sexuality education was the entire school’s concern, I knew that it was the <strong>most for a school counselor</strong>. I wasn’t of course, too sure how it could be applied or whether it could be applied in a setting with kids coming from slum colonies. For that matter, <strong>is sexuality education only for the privileged? </strong>By this assumption, is sexuality and reproductive rights placed somewhere at the higher rung of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs resembling the hierarchy in our own society? I didn’t believe so.<br />
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As much as a collective effort, sexuality education should be <strong>individualized</strong> to each one’s experiential as well as knowledge exposure and importantly, pace of comfort. One has to establish a ‘baseline’ of exactly where to begin from and with how much. Too much information is as lethal as too little. I pondered over how I could introduce these lessons to students of grades 6th, 7th and 8th and in what way differently. I mean I wasn’t even planning on starting with, “Where do babies come from?”. Here I had to <strong>figure out my own comfort level with others</strong> in discussing sexuality. If I was afraid or inhibited in any way, there wouldn’t have been a point to any of this and I was capable of doing greater damage than any good. I resolved within myself and began from exposing, challenging and correcting the interpretative flaws in understanding the term sexuality itself.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">The cherry on this cake is the <strong>interactive nature of sessions.</strong> A primary aim of sexuality education is to <strong>provide a comfortable space to developing individuals to remove the stigma and loneliness</strong> that accompanies the various issues of growth and development. Empathizing with others’ and widening one’s own perspective is what defines sexuality education.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Despite this knowledge, the controversies around sexuality education are always concentrated on the content it should cover whilst most overlook the more integral ingredient, <strong>the methodology</strong>; how information is presented - visually or verbally, imposing or convincing delivery method of the message, and if questions ought to be tackled with awkward silences, jokes, ridicule or harassment. It is not so much the topics that a program covers but how it does that determines its effectiveness and the outcomes in a child’s coping style.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">I was enjoying my time with the children discussing and exploring their ideas on friendships, family, society, their bodies, emotions and even abuse through means of role plays, mixed gender interactions (an absent quality in the school) and chinese whispers, when everything was brought to a sudden halt. I had been asked to be discreet in my classes. The word, ‘discreet’, however, doesn’t have a place in sexuality education. In fact, it stands in opposition to it. My only applicable understanding of it was to not expose the students to graphic visuals of the body. Nevertheless, I compensated through all verbal mediums. ‘It was the content of the matter’, they hinted. It’s appalling to add here that<strong>they didn’t want me to mention the very term, sexuality, in class.</strong> With little space given to defend myself, I was asked to discontinue everything.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">The point I’d like to drive home is that sexuality education has to begin at the very roots of a subject as well as with society. By the latter, I’m hinting towards the forerunners of a society – parents, teachers, policy makers, law enforcers; all in all, the adults! Convince them and consider the job almost half done. I say ‘almost’ because although children are agents of the norms, traditions and values of a society set by their respective adults, they are active learners of their own will and choice! My illustrative experience is a case in point. Had I, perhaps, convinced the school authorities of how what I was doing going to be beneficial for the students, then the response would have been more welcoming and the outcome more positive.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">My humble effort would have been entirely futile and nothing beyond an internship fulfillment, if not for the active and aroused minds of the youngsters there. Any success, even if less than a centimeter on a scale, is attributed to their receptivity and a mutual understanding between us that touched me.</normal><br />
<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Sexuality Education is a dicey matter, no doubt. However, it has to be given some leeway on the grounds that it is still in its etiological period of research, understanding and formulation. After all, every discipline has built a home through a storm of resistance, revolution and renaissance.</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Sexuality education arrived a while back and is slowly seeping into mainstream society. For those to whom it is still a culture shock probably need to dig a bigger burrow!</normal><br />
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<normal style="font-family: Verdana, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 20px; text-align: justify;">Originally published on 26 February, 2010 on <a href="http://thealternative.in/articles/the-continuing-myth-around-%E2%80%98sexuality-education%E2%80%99">The Alternative </a></normal></div>the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8028297559317442618.post-34405714096944905852010-07-19T00:52:00.000-07:002010-08-01T01:08:04.338-07:00The rare confession of a 'closet romantic'<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgReZ8PjzualU1J_CIZrN7iu6vgzDVIin_aaOJ1S8gN13MZqrQ9wxsDsfx2jO-IIbJ9WY7hl18dCEU7FhczS4feWxAObhj5ANHTtG9l60ahSaPAQ7ryeYlCHIosxSizKEuuF06Uim5lH2aX/s1600/17710z.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 292px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgReZ8PjzualU1J_CIZrN7iu6vgzDVIin_aaOJ1S8gN13MZqrQ9wxsDsfx2jO-IIbJ9WY7hl18dCEU7FhczS4feWxAObhj5ANHTtG9l60ahSaPAQ7ryeYlCHIosxSizKEuuF06Uim5lH2aX/s320/17710z.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5500215461519552258" /></a><div style="text-align: left;"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000EE;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#000000;"><br /></span></span></u></div>Romance is frivolous. No one can or would argue much against it. Yet, we ALL are suckers for it. Sure, there are people who take it to very corny levels of display with the red roses, heart shaped chocolate boxes, heart shaped cushions, heart shaped chikies (yes these too are available!), droopy eyed stuffed toys, stuffed toys with the hearts, love song CD collections, those li'l books titled '1000 reasons why i love you', lifted lines from bad movies, declaring yourself as 'in a relationship with....' on facebook and I think i've pretty much covered most of the drift.<div><br /></div><div>Romance is certainly a market that never runs dry or even much redundant. There couldn't be better examples than the movies & Mills & Boon where writers may have run short of quirky and cute ways of making people fall for each other but that same story is a runaway hit each time. Hence, they needn't even think any further.</div><div><br /></div><div>In my own li'l fantasy world, too, I've always imagined my romances and relationships in techni-color and have a tendency to do so unabated. Then, how is it that I love hating love stories? Here's understanding how and why.</div><div><br /></div><div>The capitalist market has cashed in a lot on romance and I, suppose, that's where my grouse with romance lies to begin with. This consumerist notion of romance, relationships and love is a sell out, unoriginal, unintelligible, too often tacky and too convenient. Especially with the last one, my contention is nothing about love or romance is convenient or should be coz if it is or becomes, then the thrill and excitement is stolen away for an easy come and easy go. I love fast food but I don't like the concept to spill over to every other aspect of life. </div><div><br /></div><div>Yes, i'm cynical about the consumerist version of romance but more so over the way its done often. Also, i'd like to emphasize on the underlying gender stereotype/bias to this truth. Like really, guys don't get teddies or even friendship bands. Even if they do, they don't keep 'em. These frivolous, the lot of which i mentioned before, li'l plastics are mainly targeted for women, whose girlfriends (lesbian or not) and boyfriends will buy for them. Its like what most feminists purport i.e. to the underlying tones to many general things around us that often reinforce beliefs that are so deeply socialized, from early on in our becoming. Here, the underlying tone that gets reinforced every valentines and friendships day is that women are petty to fall for things like such. Sure, you call it 'cute' but so much is belittled of women in knowing that they can be easily won over by these means. </div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZET3i1oHQV4VYzT5JwCDFQRUzLgGmg2TADXH2df-dZzeGnPRWfx-agWaBy413k2cFshCdwxeSXRN0uwriFc9FOFmRFoA3Mi7qhyQmGBLgW37sgpxFy24heopODgVmfyiizYSmg3D-JCUD/s320/3_Main.jpg" /></div><div><br /></div><div>Yet, i'm not dismissing everything that Archies/Hallmark make in absolution. They have their place, which is why they are so often relied upon. But they are only the means to something great, not the end product of that greatness. Some of the cards read out very beautifully but you know, a girl doesn't necessarily like a poet but a guy who expresses himself...in whatever way or language. Don't pick up that love song collection with too much pink on its CD cover but make her your own mix with your own artwork on the cover. Trust me, she might not like the song or the art but will be over the moon with the gesture. They also come in more reasonable ranges, not that an expensive gift is necessarily impersonal. The point is of being genuine, not a cheapskate. </div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigZUpPuoXZeoSajEfe3HYJ5mzsT_4V7sXhq1Agxi8r80LyjtOLy6qZBCUVRzJEJopVNU9ObX3QeMzOgu6qF-D_CIPcpIdeKb_MHPuF2bFduCwTmhkE7bP3lYu4offV0oSSTreYxL2CIgjI/s320/aexn4l.jpg" /></div><div><br /></div><div>It may not seem like it but i'm not playing advisor girl here. In my own unapparent way, I'm disclosing a secret, unknown to many and shattering a myth, commonly understood about me. That...i'm a marshmallow inside when it comes to love and romance. Despite consciously understanding the roots and processes of my socialization, I know that having a guy head over heels for me is at the top of my wish list, maybe even above being intellectually appraised. This isn't to say that I only want that. I'm a greedy woman. I want all the goodies on the wishlist from Santa i.e. life.</div><div><br /></div><div>It is because i'm a romantic, the true blue kind, that makes me despise all the RED. But I do understand and want the RED for what it represents. What is cute about it is not dog, the heart or the 'I love you' but the extent that a guy will go for you i.e. in being petty himself, which is undeniably flattering. Like i said, the RED and romance has its place, only not a defining one.</div><div> </div><div><br /></div><div>Hi, I'm Makepeace Sitlhou and i'm a romantic. </div><div><div><br /></div><div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibL6TYHCsQjjzgPDbA1snoOfQnBXE8v0jN_anGxMwJj4GDeROT6gsr8x4gi6DYIFZODvczBA0_JLtmspaRBpq4WHZr6lCaUIe51d8QXFerg5VPyVaso5yw0omzjnogyXr9nOr3dWSI7HJ8/s320/Image32.gif" /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Romance is dead *sigh*</div></div></div>the unpopular antagonisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18136026380161563089noreply@blogger.com0