the last woman

I believe in the theory of six degrees of separation. Only I do believe that you don't need to go through all the six degrees (or for that matter any of them sometimes, like this one) to connect. If you do hit upon this post, take the time out to check out www.writersareborn.com for some positive encouragement to budding writers and of course, to connect. Like I did, unawares.

cyntt - My battle against life

If you came to realize that everything you came even close to wishing for,
Always found a way of loosening your grip and run away…
If you became this scared child, not daring to wish for anything anymore…
If you started to want things you can’t have,
To be able to predict the disappointment and avoid getting hurt…
If you wake up one morning and notice you have no reason to get out of bed…
If you’re hanging on to life with a single thin thread,
And suddenly wondered why you’re just not letting go…

When you just know that you’re not happy…
When all you ever do anymore, is hide…
When you find out nothing matters anymore…
When you grow tired of forcing a smile,
Just to comfort people that you’re fine…
When you were the only person you trusted,
And even that ended with disappointment…
When all you ask for each night,
Is not to wake up the next morning…

When you become a spectator of your own life…
When you feel you’re standing still, alone,
Watching the world moving all around you…
When nothing you say or do has any relevance…
When you realize you’ve seen all you wanted to see…
When your future holds nothing appealing to you…

Only then, you know…
Only then, you don’t belong…
Only then, you’re the creep…
Only then, you claimed your defeat…

I lost the battle…
I lost the war…
Take me out of the ring of life…
You win…



A defeatist

Cyntt - Letter to God

Refusing to hope,
Avoiding love,
Running scared,
Turning down chances,
Everything becomes a risk…
Disappointed,
Constantly bleeding,
Scared,
Lonely,
Lost in confusion,
Searching for what’s left of “ME”

A pain too strong for my chest to contain,
Disappearing every day a little bit more,
Horrified of a simple smile,
Terrorized of waking up the next morning,
Darkness taking over,
Wandering, broken through sleepless nights,
Falling deeper and deeper into insanity,
It’s getting harder and harder to breathe…
Can anyone hear me choke?
Can anyone feel my pain?

The weak beat of what’s left of my heart,
It’s the last of what remains to be offered,
Take it, end my growing suffering,
Take it, let me rest in the peace I’ve been yearning for,
End my meaningless existence,
Silence all my unheard screams,
Free me from a body too bruised to stand,
Hide my soul where harm do not exist,
Protect a child whose nightmare wont end,
Wake me up to utter happiness,
Prove to me I can at least hope
For the unconditional love of a FATHER,
I’ve done my time,
Just take me home…

Your daughter
29/09/08