Friday, December 12, 2008

Hollywood's t.A.T.u.

I know I'm not an early bird to comment on this but this girl just makes me sick. Sure I dont have a problem if she's caught doing a him, her or even an 'it'. What I do have a problem with is the way she does it. In a world that will never unlock the closets or will stuff people back in it, this hi profile trailer trash has to makes a statement like, "my ex boyfriend made me become a lesbian". I am not the only one to believe that this is a cheap publicity stunt or the wreckless life of an oversexed starlet. But her act is reminscent of that crap fumed Bollywood flick, Girlfriend, wherein the protagonist "turned" lesbian due to earlier, negative experiences with men.

And i thought Bollywood was regressive.

Disclaimer: I dont claim to be a pro-gay rights or a feminist for that matter. However, if its easier for people to accomodate me in such narrow brackets, then so be it. For me, its more of a contention about misconceptualizing labels and being pro-human.

Monday, November 17, 2008

A wishlist

  1. to revolutionize sex education in India
  2. to start a movie therapy center
  3. to start a magazine or a journal with my friends
  4. to go on an African safari
  5. to holiday in Morocco
  6. to work for the U.N.
  7. to celebrate new years in Times Square
  8. to be a soccer mom to a daughter named 'Billie'
  9. to present my mom with a bulldog on her birthday
  10. to send my folks on a world tour (vacation abroad essentially)
  11. to publish an autobiographical graphic novel
  12. to do a cross country/continent trip; a backpacking honeymoon with my fiancĂ© 
  13. to start an online counselling portal
Not too unrealistic is it?

Sunday, October 26, 2008

the last woman

I believe in the theory of six degrees of separation. Only I do believe that you don't need to go through all the six degrees (or for that matter any of them sometimes, like this one) to connect. If you do hit upon this post, take the time out to check out www.writersareborn.com for some positive encouragement to budding writers and of course, to connect. Like I did, unawares.

cyntt - My battle against life

If you came to realize that everything you came even close to wishing for,
Always found a way of loosening your grip and run away…
If you became this scared child, not daring to wish for anything anymore…
If you started to want things you can’t have,
To be able to predict the disappointment and avoid getting hurt…
If you wake up one morning and notice you have no reason to get out of bed…
If you’re hanging on to life with a single thin thread,
And suddenly wondered why you’re just not letting go…

When you just know that you’re not happy…
When all you ever do anymore, is hide…
When you find out nothing matters anymore…
When you grow tired of forcing a smile,
Just to comfort people that you’re fine…
When you were the only person you trusted,
And even that ended with disappointment…
When all you ask for each night,
Is not to wake up the next morning…

When you become a spectator of your own life…
When you feel you’re standing still, alone,
Watching the world moving all around you…
When nothing you say or do has any relevance…
When you realize you’ve seen all you wanted to see…
When your future holds nothing appealing to you…

Only then, you know…
Only then, you don’t belong…
Only then, you’re the creep…
Only then, you claimed your defeat…

I lost the battle…
I lost the war…
Take me out of the ring of life…
You win…



A defeatist


Cyntt - Letter to God


Refusing to hope,
Avoiding love,
Running scared,
Turning down chances,
Everything becomes a risk…
Disappointed,
Constantly bleeding,
Scared,
Lonely,
Lost in confusion,
Searching for what’s left of “ME”

A pain too strong for my chest to contain,
Disappearing every day a little bit more,
Horrified of a simple smile,
Terrorized of waking up the next morning,
Darkness taking over,
Wandering, broken through sleepless nights,
Falling deeper and deeper into insanity,
It’s getting harder and harder to breathe…
Can anyone hear me choke?
Can anyone feel my pain?

The weak beat of what’s left of my heart,
It’s the last of what remains to be offered,
Take it, end my growing suffering,
Take it, let me rest in the peace I’ve been yearning for,
End my meaningless existence,
Silence all my unheard screams,
Free me from a body too bruised to stand,
Hide my soul where harm do not exist,
Protect a child whose nightmare wont end,
Wake me up to utter happiness,
Prove to me I can at least hope
For the unconditional love of a FATHER,
I’ve done my time,
Just take me home…

Your daughter
29/09/08

Monday, October 20, 2008

Grant the front door entry to the back door entry!

The latest on the appeal of the revision of the penal code for "unnatural" sex as reported by HT epaper continues on a hilarious (unintended) tune, unabated.

"The AIDS is already spreading in the country and if gay sex is legalised then people on the street would start indulging in such practises saying that the High Court has given approval for it", contended Additional Solicitor General P P Malhotra, appearing for the Centre.

THEY FEAR AN EPIDEMIC OF SODOMY!!!

Sir, gay sex in the country is already happening in the streets, homes and brothels (if i may add) and dare i say, although i need not, even before your clan was conceived. Legalizing gay sex will help homosexuals to come out of their stuffed closets and therefore with a definite account of their number we can proceed to curb the growing numbers of AIDS cases in the country.
The idea of the revision of the code is not to encourage gay sex, a choice that is highly individualistic. In fact, you could very well be doing it in your steamy moments. You cannot possibly have a legal code for bedroom positions now.
If the concern of the centre is grounded in healthy sexuality, I would still consider it an innocent mistake. But they still haven't figured out that its a matter of human rights and public health.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Hierarchical delusion

Dear Maslow,

I'm back to the level, in your pyramid, where I sought (to complete or for any) love/affection aka. my emotional needs.
Its ironic how I mentally praise your theory, however, find myself in loggerheads with it every time. Because mostly I'm operating to fulfill my physical comfort, much above everything. It is the foundation of all my "higher" needs. I cannot actualize (note: think) without lunch. Not that I always attain it, but I know for a fact that I cant. Hence, I dont even try and trying kills the natural effect of it.
Exceptionally though, this particular need has been much out of the purview because of the unfathomed and unfurnished subsequent need. And I dont feel normal. I mean I know I aint normal nowadays.
So in effect, the soundness of my mental health (happiness?) is negatively proportional to the errability of your theory (& vice versa). To add further confusion, I am able to actualize my thoughts. But not dispel in practice. Perhaps because the base is less attended to and the linking foundations are virtually absent or shaky (note: vulnerable).

Go figure. The theory, me or yourself!

Regards,
the unpopular antagonist.

Monday, October 6, 2008

"Homosexuality & Widow remarriage: criminal offense" - HC & State Centre

I believe,

The method of selection in the civil services and all other Govt. services should be revised. In my knowledge, if you know the books and the papers by rote and can answer dubious questions that are apparently "witty", then you cut through to the most prestigious posts in the country. Not to say, any of this is easy.

But is there a section of the paper/interview on reasoning (rational, moral or logical)?

I dont believe so.

Because then lawmakers would not use baseless arguments in contending a position that may not be all so politically correct.

On the appeal of revision of IPC 377, that criminalizes all forms of unnatural sex incl. homosexuality, the centre replied, "Acts glorified in the past like dowry, domestic violence, widow remarriage have now been brought under the purview of criminal justice system, likewise practice of homosexuality or lesbianism is not accepted in our society."

Shocked at this statement, Justice Muralidhar remarked, "It is a pity to know with what casualness the affidavit has been drafted. Since when has widow re-marriage been a crime? And what is the relation between widow re-marriage and the problem at hand?"

I believe our society is progressing. i believe our economy is booming. but then at a paradox are the regressive realities like the one quoted above. In analogy, the country is a rubber band that is being pulled to heights of civilization on one end and the struggle to restore the medieval ages, on the other.

Its really just a tug of war and i cant help but say between the good and the bad (the good/bad being contextual). The home ministry exhausts its last reasonable contention in the concern for containing the HIV virus which infact is the same concern of the health ministry in decriminalizing homosexuality.

In the anticipation of an enlightenment on the rusty legal code, the petitioners are answered with a statement that brings them back to square one of their case.
I doubt if they will ever see the end of this long and winding tunnel of the criminal justice system.